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.Wednesday, September 02, 2009 @ 10:27 AM Y
.silence.

Currently tuning into: Paula Deanda - Walk Away

I can't forget how we used to be,
Our life from day to day,
Hoping maybe you'll come back,
And though I tell myself not to be afraid,
To move on but it seems I can't,
Though a new man has given me attention,
It ain't the same as your affection,
Though I know I should be content,
In the back of my mind,
I can't help but question.

I can't explain this feeling,
I think about it everyday,
And even though we've moved on,
It gets so hard to walk away.



So. Last night was on the phone with Hafiz, & started talking yet again about Amin. How I was worried about him having his finals these few weeks, our constant fighting everytime we contact each other, how I still love him. About everything basically. & before I could stop myself I started crying.

Its been more than a month since I've cried my heart out like that really. Wanted to really scream & let it all out, but refrained myself; I was, after all, still on the phone with Hafiz. & to cry out to him like that, it just wasn't me. I don't cry out to anyone just like that. Guess I held everything in fer too long. I haven't let out my feelings & emotions to anyone in quite a while. Kept everything inside, not sharing anything with anyone, until I met Hafiz that is. Even wtvr I blog, is not even a quarter of it. He told me to let everything out, but despite feeling like I have so much to say I couldn't really say anything.

I've been worried about everything really, nowadays. Amin's finals, my finals, just anything that needs worrying about, everything's in my head. It's stressing me out really, but I can't help myself.


Oh. Study break's nx week. & my finals start on next Friday itself. Public Speaking. Getting quite nervous & tensed up atm, there's just so much to read up & memorize. 6 subs within one week? Not to forget the fact tht there's 13 topics per sub, excluding Maths, which only has 6. But hey, it's freaking Business Maths. 6 topics is like friggin 60. Pfft. & my accs. Gahness. I only managed to get 25% out of 40% fer my Accs coursework(assignments & mid-term), & that's no laughing matter. I'm gonna have to really struggle to the max to even pass, so don't even talk about getting an A. Nak dpt pointer 3.0-3.5? Dlm mimpi la kot. Sheesh.


This loneliness? Nvr felt anything like it.







MEY


.Farah Alia.
Growing up, lost in her ups & downs, desperately trying to find the real meaning of life. With only 18 yrs of experience in life, its a journey. With memories that can nvr be forgotten.

THEMY




Family. <33
The best family ever. To mummy & papa; Bringing me into this world, raising me up & protecting me, you're the only ones that I know who would never abandon me. You taught me the importance of loving a family, to take care of others, to value life & live as a good person. Even if once I didn't understand why & thought tht you were a nuisance to me, as I grow older I started to know why, & try my best to appreciate it. Of course, growing up, as Mummy puts it, I nvr know how high the sky is or how deep the ground is, in other words, I don't know my limits, but one thing's fer sure, I'll nvr forget how important family really is. Words of wisdom, I live to the fullest each day. I love you all.








Friends. <33
All sorts. Close, best, good, or just friends. All around, to laugh with, to share with, to be together with. Besties like Nad, supportive when they can be, there to cheer you up when you're down, we need people like that in our lives. I'm grateful to have friends like y'all, to share the fun I experience with. To just talk, or chill, or hangout. A part of your life that is always a must fer everyone. I love y'all. (:



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