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.Saturday, June 27, 2009 @ 1:37 PM Y

Currently tuning into: Taylor Swift - Fearless

You know, I suddenly agree with Fiki. Boys utamakan their friends more over their girlfs. Not saying it's a bad thing, but if you over do it it just fucking sucks.

Meanwhile, I'm confusing myself on whether I should rebel with syg or just go with the flow. Call me a sensitive bitch, but I'm just fucking pissed everytime he texts me like fer a few times & suddenly hilang like that. I got xtra pissed when he called me last night, can go all lovey dovey for like 20 seconds, & suddenly put down the phone, not even bothering to call back. & the best thing is, he can call again the nx morning & act as if nothing happened. X hilang sbar aku lg.

I feel so stuck in between. I wanna be somewhat rebellious, I just wanna supposingly majok with him, & not lyn him, tht kinda thing, & yet I'm scared tht at the same time I'm scared I would unintentionally lead him to go to some other girl instead. However, going with the flow, he thinks it's all fine, & I would feel like committing suicide. Stupidly waiting for your boyf to call or text is so lame you really just feel like taking a knife & slitting your throat. Pfft.

Nowadays he texts at his own will, calls maybe only once or twice a day, & he's not even busy with classes. From the minute I open my eyes until the second I fall asleep I wait fer him to at least text & say good morning or good night or just anything. Nowadays even in the middle of the night I can wake up & check my phone to see if he texted. So much for a good night's sleep huh.

So many things for me to say. All related to him. & I can't even tell him. In fact, I don't know how to fucking tell him. & these parts tht I let out in my blog, is not even a quarter of it. However, keeping it to myself, well, the results are very clear nowadays, how it's affected me. You can officially call me psycho.

I gonna stop blogging fer now, I can't even type properly anymore. While typing this post there's at least one typing error that I made in every sentence. & even my language seems out. Gah, I'm seriously gonna end up crazy soon. I'm even gonna stop myspacing fer now, I'm in no mood to reply the many cmnts I receive.

. @ 12:24 AM Y

Currently tuning into: Basshunter - Now You're Gone

Fellow readers,

Sry fer not regularly updating my blog. You see, I'm currently at a loss of words when it comes to talking about my own life nowadays. I don't know why really, but here's one thing tht's fer sure. Life is currently like an unexperienced swimmer in the ocean fer me. I'm tht swimmer, caught up in the ocean, which is life. It feels as if I'm trying to swim desperately up to the surface, only to be dragged down even more by the deep blue ocean. Pfft.

N'way, apart from that, nothing serious really. University's as fun as ever, but with the mid terms coming up & assignments & stuff, it's getting slightly tougher. With my 5 minute speech done, I still have my Business Maths mind term test, which is on Wednesday, & fer all the other subs too, throughout July. Pfft, I'm so dead. But well, studied a little fer Maths just now, & guess it isn't tht bad so far.

Meanwhile, just now had some pop quiz fer comp studies. Cam siot je kot. Haha. Then after class lepaked with some of the guys, Teck Wang , Nicholas & Chor Yuen, a few of my best guy buddies so far in uni (haha lol). Was raining damn heavily, & Nicholas & myself got all soaked when we walked from our Foundation Studies block to another block, to get to the cafeteria. After that went to some campaign thingy, about Love, Sex, & Relationships, held by the Counselling Unit. Had some quiz thingy, based on love & relationships, which I got 100% for. Hoho. Got a free bag, & told mum about it. Mum was somewhat impressed, seeing I was some sort of expert on love la kononnye HAHA.

Oh ohh. Micheal Jackson & Farrah Fawcett passed away. Damn sad really. MJ's case was a shocking one, never expected our world's very own King Of Pop to go so fast. Weird really, you usually don't give a fuck about these celebs, yet when you receive news that they're gone, you can't help but feel a slight twinge of loss.

I had fun though, listening to his songs on Hitz throughout the whole day. I never actually took the time to appreciate what wonderful songs he has.
RIP. <3

.Tuesday, June 23, 2009 @ 10:30 PM Y

Currently tuning into: Lily Allen - Everything's Just Wonderful

Bende dah lame gle berlaku kot. Yet I can still think about it, & practically feel my heart bleed.

6th May 2009: The day I experienced HELL.

I still have many questions unanswered, many things ignored & done with, just like that. You'd be thinking I should just let it go, since, well, everything is back to normal. But these questions keep bugging me. Why bother really, he's definitely over it, her, well, I don't know how she felt or feels about the whole thing really, but I don't give a fuck, as far as I'm concerned I don't to have anything to do with her anymore, no fucking way. Yet here I am, almost 2 months later, still very upset with it.

Urgh, kekdg rase cam kimak gle kot klu fkir blik. Lg truk drpd mase kene ngan Yon dlu. Cam babi jer.

Can't blame me. Perhaps I'm just being how a normal girlf would be.

.Monday, June 22, 2009 @ 11:56 PM Y

Currently tuning into: Paramore - Stop This Song (Lovesick Melody)

Apparently almost everyone but me got accepted into UiTM. Gosh you stupid goverment so fucking racist wey! Aku separuh cine pun korg nak kire ke? Cam kimak je. Dahlah bg alternative pun msukkan aku kat kolej islam. Pe, korg igt aku ni x ckup Islam ke hah? Cam siot je wey.

& it's not even b'cuz of results. You have people getting one or none As at all getting accepted, & I friggin got 2 As.

But n'way, even if I get also mummy won't let me go. She doesn't want me to go too far, or stay hostel, cuz she's gonna miss me.
Awwww. Haha. I love you la mummy. ;D

. @ 6:31 PM Y

Currently tuning into: Hey Monday - How You Love Me Now

Haven't blogged in a week. Record kot. Haha wtf. N'way, yea, I've been quite lazy to update really. Fer one, last week I was practically sick throughout the whole week, having fever, cough & flu. Xtau la psl cuace ke psl syg dok campak aku dlm laut aritu kan HAHA. Pfft.

N'way, did my public speaking presentation just now. Gosh, I don't even know why the hell I even bothered to memorize, I forgot every single word, & I didn't dare read from my paper HAHAHA lol. Well, somehow crapped, so uh, lantak ar. Changed my topic btw, talked about blogging. Haha.

Oh. May be transferring to tht Baitumal place, depending on how my results will be fer my finals of course. Pfft. Good luck to me being all alim wey. & having to learn Bahasa Arab. Sheesh.

Haven't been in the mood to blog lately. In fact, haven't been in the mood in anything at all. & I've been gaining so much weight it's currently depressing. Shitty really, ever since syg entered college.

Been getting really touchy, he replies my msgs late, & tht's like only a few times, calls me like what, once or twice a day? & he doesn't even classes on yet wey! Xbengang aku. & last Saturday was my 8th month anniversary with syg, & mind you, it sucked hard friggin core. He supposingly was in some bad mood & couldn't even layan me, causing me to turn bitchy too, resulting in both of us not talking the whole day. X bengang lak aku, rase cam kimak jer. Then yesterday he turns up at my hse to take his cap & the wallet I bought for him, & leaves, like 10 minutes later. Yea, so he came, & of course we couldn't get all huggy & kissy in front of my parents, but seriously, would it even kill him to at least hang around for a bit? Pfft.

Gah. Idk really, so many things run through my mind. Every moment he's not texting me or sumthing I get the odd impression tht he's texting some other girl. At night I get the sudden phobia that he's on the phone with some other girl. Nice as it seems whenever he always says he loves me & stuff, I can't help but feel a little scared; can't blame me really, the last time he did that, suddenly say 'I love you' to me every single time he called me, he happened to have another girlf. Pfft. Urgh, doesn't anyone know how much it freaking sucks to feel insecure every single darn time?! I hate it, I swear to God I do. But yet, losing him is 1000000x worse. Gah.

Adoiyai, Casper oii, tolong la syg, sumpah I dah xsanggup ouh nak rase camni tiap2ari. Tolong la wat something yg at least ley tenangkan ati I, ckp la ngan I yg u sumpah u xkan wat pape blkg I lg. Or sumthing like tht, pape jela. Psl u wat satu bende tu je dlu, I dah jd camni. Urgh. I tau u syg I semue, but pls la, I mintak satu je wey, jgn wat pape lg kat blkg I. Tiap2 ari I rase cuak, tau x. Taula u dah x wat pape hal pun skrg, tp, ntah la. Grr. Cam siot je kan bini u ni? Haha. I syg you sgt2 lorr. ):

You know, I've changed so darn much it's getting kinda stupid really. Recently I've been adding like tons of 'super cute' guys in Myspace, just so that I can supposingly flirt & stuff like that, so that just in case anything goes wrong with the boyf & I, I'll have some penganti or some sort wtf. Call me a bitch really. But you wanna know the stupidity of the whole thing? I can't freaking get myself to do it. I even attempted getting this guy to become my scandal but chickened out halfway. Pfft. The old Farah last time could even go as far as liking 10 guys in one shot, I'm sure Mei Xin & Wan Ying would rmbr tht too.

Funny how this dumb thing called love makes people turn cuckoo.
As quoted from the movie 27 Dresses;

Love is patient, love is kind, love means slowly losing your mind.

.Monday, June 15, 2009 @ 10:19 PM Y

Currently tuning into: Pink - You & Your Hand

Now I've come to realise tht at uni the lecturers xbiase call me Frh, instead they end up calling me Alia. Ms V, my English lecturer did tht just now, called me to go in front for a presentation. Now tht's the bad thing about being the only Malay there, senang org igt name. Pfft.

Ms Sharon wasn't around fer Public Speaking today, so had this substitute, who let us of after half an hour of class. Haha wtf. So a bunch of us just hung around in class, having Teck Wang & Nicholas directly translating random chinese words into english, making all of us laugh like noone's business. After tht Felicia started imitating out lecturers, again causing none stop laughter. Haha.

Meanwhile, syg registered at KUIS Bangi today. Currently staying at the hostel. Haha. Poor him. Looks like I won't be seeing him often fer now. Funny really, its not like he stays near my house or sumthing, he's still far, but now with the fact tht he's continuing his studies, he seems even more further then usual. Pfft.

Now I feel tht weird empty feeling inside me. I really miss him a lot right now.

You'll know a camwhore when you see one.

.Sunday, June 14, 2009 @ 8:07 PM Y

Currently tuning into: Cinema Bizarre - After The Rain

Was browsing Liyana's blog just now, one of my BFF community mmbrs & found these posts. Interesting really, credits to her.(:

Does Your Name Suit You?

A : loves to laugh
B : crazy at times
C : cute
D : smart
E : has beautiful eyes
F : wild and crazy
G : sexy
H : gives good hugs
I : very hot
J : likes someone
K : is very athletic
L : very good kisser
M : easy to fall in love with
N : very trustworthy
O : has the best personality ever.
P : popular with all types of people
Q : has a smile to die for
R : will make a good boyfriend or girlfriend
S : likes someone
T : very opened minded
U : is loved by everyone
V : not judgmental
W : very sexy
X : never lets people tell you what to do
Y : nice butt!
Z : makes dating fun

F : wild and crazy
A : loves to laugh
R : will make a good boyfriend or girlfriend
A : loves to laugh
H : gives good hugs

A : loves to laugh
L : very good kisser
I : very hot
A : loves to laugh

Summary of my name: Bottom line, I do love to laugh HAHA. Yea, in fact I laugh way more than I actually genuinely smile. Wild & crazy? Perhaps. Lmao. Good kisser? Gives good hugs? Ask Amin, he's the only one to enjoy those two privilages HAHAHA. Will make a good girlf? Ask Amin again, how good I am. Lol. Very hot? Mestila. *cough cough* Malaysia kan panas skrg, semue org pun hot kan HAHA. xP


Facts about a Boy

When a BOY is quiet,
He has nothing to say

When a BOY is not arguing,
He is not in the mood of arguing

When a boy looks at u with eyes full of questions,
He is really confused

When a BOY answers "I'm fine" after a few seconds,
He is actually fine

When a BOY stares at you,
He is either amazed or angry

When a BOY lays in your lap,
He is wishing for you to be his forever

When a BOY calls you everyday,
He is spending a lot of talk time to get your attention

When a BOY sms's u everyday,
He is forwarding them

When a BOY says I love you,
It's not the first time

When a BOY says that he can't live without you,
He has made up his mind that you are his for at least a week.


Facts about a girl

When a GIRL is quiet,
Millions of things are running in her mind.

When a GIRL is not arguing,
She is thinking deeply.

When a GIRL looks at u with eyes full of questions,
She is wondering how long you will be around.

When a GIRL answers "i'm fine" after a few seconds,
She is not at all fine.

When a GIRL stares at you,
She is wondering why you are lying.

When a GIRL lays on your chest,
She is wishing for you to be hers forever.

When a GIRL wants to see you everyday,
She wants to be pampered.

When a GIRL says I love you,
She means it.

When a GIRL says "i miss you",
No one in this world can miss you more than that

Gosh dah cam dak kecik lak minah ni post bende2 alah ni kat blog HAHA. I 18 already wey wtf. Weirdly, every single thing stated about a girl's exactly what I feel when I do tht particular thing. Well, obviously. I am a girl kan HAHAH. Pfft.

Having this stupid sore throat right now. Maybe b'cuz of the fact tht I swallowed too much seawater yesterday. Pfft. Meanwhile, yet again I forgot what I wanted to post. HAHA.

My current addiction. Somehow la. Slah beli edi, too sour. Haha pfft.

Just now syg called me & told me tht he's going to Kuantan. Started crying, but used my sore throat as a cover up. Lmao. So after the conversation I ended the call & was about to get ready to start crying hysterically, only to have him call me again & say tht he's not going to Kuantan but KUIS. Thx for kenekan-ing me wey. WTF. I'm such a cry baby for an 18 yr old wey HAHA. Pfft. I hate him for loving to make me cry all the time. T_T

Still cheerful?

.Saturday, June 13, 2009 @ 10:55 PM Y

Currently tuning into: Jordin Sparks - One Step At A Time

Had a very tiring day today. Went to one of Amin's relative's house in Seremban fer yet another kenduri kawen. Haha. Pfft. His friends, Faiz, Yus, & Meor came along too, since we all planned to drop by Port Dickson to mandi laut after the wedding.

The wedding was kinda boring really. I barely knew anyone there, unless you count the ones I met during syg's brother's wedding, who were all so busy it was impossible staying with them. Yea, the boyf abandoned me yet again, while I hung around stupidly feeling out of place once again. Pfft. Finally after what felt like the longest one hr of my life wtf, we finally left the place & headed on to Port Dickson.

I always knew the beach was a fun place to be, but after today, wow, it's just totally awesome. Mayb it's the fact tht after so many yrs of going to the beach all I ever did was stand at the seashore cuz mummy won't let me swim; says it's too dangerous. Swt. Today we all practically went into the sea to swim, into the deep part, supposingly deep la. Was my first time, so I spent the first hour or so clinging on to the boyf's neck, when basically I could still touch the bottom surface HAHA. Just swam around, & fooled around laughing together. Everything was fun, except for the part where the boyf started lifting me & throwing me into the water. T_T

After tht went back to the car to change. Well somehow la. Wtf. Mood was hyper & excited really, until the guys, including my own boyf started doing their own sightseeing on girls around the beach. Tht definitely placed a blow to my head, especially seeing my own boyf do tht, mainly b'cuz of the fact tht I was already so darn uncomfortable with myself, & I didn't need anyone else reminding me tht there were so many others girls with hotter bodies out there. Another episode of my insecurity. Ever since the boy'f's brother's wedding I had gained a lot of weight, & right now, I'm having trouble controlling myself again. So yea, at times you just feel like kicking yourself. Pfft.

Otw home everyone dropped dead. Haha. Syg was driving, tht is, until he said he couldn't stand another minute awake. All the boys didn't sleep the previous night. B'cuz of tht, I had to take over the driving. Thank God the road was straight. Haha. Felt better & less panicky than my 1st time with mummy, mayb b'cuz of the fact tht syg didn't start shouting at me at every chance he got. Lol. Instead, all he did was ask me to slow down, everytime I reached 100 or so. Hearing it from a person who drives over 100 ALL the time's just weird. HAHA. N'way, after half an hour or so he took over again, I was losing concentration n'ways due to the increasing number of cars around me.

Now I'm so darn tired I think I'm gonna drop dead now, despite it being only 11.30pm & tht I just ate. & this sore throat makin menjadi2 already, I think I'm falling sick. Pfft.

Nite bbys.

.Thursday, June 11, 2009 @ 5:15 PM Y

Currently tuning into: The Veronicas Ft Tania Doko - Don't Say Goodbye

Drove to U today. Yeap, got my licence done yesterday. Gosh, driving with mummy beside me, I felt like crying, full stop. Having her scream & shout at every chance she got definitely wasn't helping with the panicking I was already feeling. Arrived at UTAR safely though. Wtf.

Finally, after waiting so long.

Frh's 'cheerful face', before she gets screwed up by mummy. Pfft.

Yea, college's fun atm I guess. But the pressure's about to start soon, assignments are being given out right now. Pfft. Breaks are fun though. Us 2 girls, Jolyn & I, & the other guys, Nicolas, Prajiv, Teck Wang, Kwan Hyen & Chun How(sry if I missed any of your names,) spend every break together & sit together in classes. Could call the bunch of us sengal really. Haha. But when it comes to studying, fuh, power suda semue. Except for me la HAHA. Had accs today, Teck Wang became my personal tutor. He's awesome in accs, & I'm starting to love the sub. Maths was okay today, maybe it was b'cuz of the fact tht I actually managed to get 9hrs of sleep last night. Lol.

My official student ID. Everyone had to wear a white blouse/shirt & black blazer. Ngeh.

Oh, the boyf may be going to Kuantan to continue his studies. At Shah Putra, the very place tht girl is. Thinking of him going so far away is already enough to kill me, without the fact of knowing tht she's there too. I mean, well yea, I'm happy tht he wants to continue his studies, at least he could take this chance to make up fer his terrible SPM results which almost gave me a heart attack. Pfft. But, gah. In fact, I was so relieved when he told me he was going to tht college in Bangi; at least he'll be nearer. Well, tht is, until he switched plans. Gosh I feel so selfish. It's fer the best, & I'm bitching.

I made a mental decision to myself, to end our relationship if he really does go to Kuantan. I can't stand facing the worrying feelings & doubts tht even now I'm already feeling. Call me selfish, but I can't stand it anymore. After what happened tht time, I'm already so darn insecure. In fact, I feel so insecure & sensitive every darn second of the day, no matter if he's there or not. Well, let's face reality really, if he does go far away we most probably won't last long anyways. Dok dkat pun dah ley camtu, pe lg jauh2 kan, lg xjd pe la. But, easy to say, hard to do, as always ain't it. I love him so much, you suppose I'd let go tht easily? Hey, don't underestimate me right now.

Something about tht day, a month ago, it killed a part of me. It's like having a virus attack a particular part of me, so tht it can no longer be cured. Every single day now, since tht terrible event, I stay like this, seemingly fine & content on the outside, but numb & still somewhat hurt on the inside. Hah. I wonder how long am I gonna be like this. Process of curing? Bound to take a long while I guess. No words can explain my situation right now, none at all.

Let's put it this way. If you ever see me sitting down quietly, perhaps staring into space or if I'm just not saying a word, you should know the fact tht there's definitely something on my mind. I'm always like that. & mind you, tht happens very frequently nowadays.

Search deep within me.

.Wednesday, June 10, 2009 @ 12:38 AM Y

Currently tuning into: Flo-rida Ft Wynter - Sugar

Suddenly considering going fer PLKN nx week. Not sure yet though. I really need a break from my current life, so many things pop up at the unexpected times. I need a break from my relationship, from university, from this boring life of mine at home, semue la. Idk why, I just need someplace to escape temporarily.

Gah. This flu is getting to my head. & I hate having sore eyes, it's torturing. I've currently forgotten what I wanted to post. Now there's this terrible pain in my chest. Maybe I've gotten the H1N1 flu & I'm gonna die soon. Sheesh.

Meanwhile, last night some dude called me. Due to me being so blur & groggy from sleep, I assumed it was my boyf & started chit-chatting with him like I always did. Tht is, until I realise tht something xkene. Only minutes after did I actually ask who he was & it turned out to be some dude, Og. Call me blur.

.Monday, June 08, 2009 @ 7:14 PM Y

Currently tuning into: Miley Cyrus - Goodbye

So, after a few days of endless busy-ness here I am, living my life as I do everyday. Pfft.

Thursday, 4th June 2009.

Had classes until 4. Brought all the stuff needed fer the nx few days at syg's hse, so basically I looked as if I went shopping before going fer class. Haha. So, due to a misunderstanding plan between me & syg I ended up having to take the LRT to Setiawangsa, which was my own original plan tht syg didn't want me to do. Lucky me, my classmate Nicholas was gonna catch the train too, though he was heading to Masjid Jamek, so he became my temporary boyf fer tht one hr or so HAHA. Spared me one of his bus tickets to ride the UTAR bus to the station, then helped me buy my ticket. After tht got on the crowded train & got to know another one of my classmates, Prajiv, who was heading to Setiawangsa too. So, the boyf didn't have to worry really, I ended up getting a lot of bodyguards haha.

Arrived at the train station at 6-ish. Met Faiz's girlf, Cuk, who was in the car. After tht went to fetch his sis Intan & his brother's girlf Hidayah. Arrived at his hse & boy, I felt like dying. He had aunties & uncles around & the first thing tht came to my mind was "Shit, what the fuck am I doing here," but n'way, acted cool. The weirdest part was when they asked my name & I said Frh & they'll look at Amin's mum & say "Ohh, so ni la kwn Amin yg (I forgot what they called her haha) cite ari tu eh," causing me to be like wtf once again.

Went to take a shower. Came out & syg told me he wanted to go out fer a while, & told me to hang around. Well, eventually I got pissed, as his "awhile" ended up being 2-3 hrs. Sat quietly in front of the tv while silently cursing him for leaving me at home while he happily went out to lepak. Was on the verge of crying; I felt so alone & left out tht I had half a mind to pack up my stuff & leave. Everyone was busy talking to each other, while I sat there by myself, barely knowing anyone around, & having the closest one to me away. After tht 2-3 hrs syg came home, when I was already busy helping out with the tray fer the akad nikah the nx day. As not surprising, he went out yet again, causing me to diss him silently again. Pfft.

After all tht hung around with Kak Intan & her friends, & kak Hidayah, to put on tht 'inai' thingy fer the groom to be. Decided against putting it on too, since Mummy would most probably start bombarding me with her nagging again if I did. Sheesh. After tht couldn't sleep so hung around in the living room with kak Hidayah. Started talking about each other's boyf, eventually realising tht our boyfs were basically the same, although myself & her were way much different than each other. At around 2am she got sleepy & went to sleep, while I stayed sitting on the sofa waiting fer the boyf, who came home minutes after. Seriously, if we really do get married & he does tht, I'll fucking kill him. Sitting around waiting fer your sweetie to come home's so darn boring you'll feel like crashing your head into a wall. Lolololol. After tht watched movies with him until 5 summat. Skipped the fact tht I hated him for abandoning me, cuz eventually hating him made me want him even more. Pfft.

While waiting.

Friday, 5th June 2009.

Had the akad nikah thingy after Asar prayers at a mosque nearby. Was kinda interesting really, since it was my first time experiencing all this. Had to wear tudung of course, with help from kak Intan & Hidayah. They were so excited in dressing me up you'd be thinking I was the one getting married HAHA. Pfft.

Watching the whole ceremony, you can't help but start thinking a lot. You wonder what's going on in the bride's & groom's minds; how they feel knowing tht1 once they step out of the mosque they're officially a married couple, Insyaallah happy smpi ke kubur la kan wtfff. You feel the happiness really, it sends the blood rushing in your veins. Lols.

According to kak Intan they knew each other last yr. & here they are now, married. Fuhhh. Makes me wonder when I'll get married HAHAHA. Seeing Amin at a distance in the mosque, I started staring at him, & thought about everything. How we had already come this far. 8 months. Looking at him from a distance, I wondered why him. Why is he the one tht makes me feel the way I do, why of all people I could have thought of before, this least unexpected person happens to be the very one to steal my heart. Start thinking about how long we had, to stay together, whether all of this will really end only once one of us dies. Unexpected things happens, who knows kan?

The only pic I took tht day. Got plenty of pics of syg though, he was keeping my phone throughout the whole day. Pfft.

At night 4 of us, Intan, Hidayah, Intan's friend Hafsah & myself got somehow hyper & started fooling around, eventually laughing our heads & asses off lmao. Start fiddling with the baju pengantin, eventually leading to this:

HAHAHA. Guess you get your preview of how I'd look when I get married huh? Wtff.

Yea, kak Intan & Hafsah were fiddling around with the bride's tudung & tiara until suddenly before I could say anything they forced me to sit on the sofa while they wore it on me. After force me to 'senyum ayu' & snap photo. Lmao! After tht they attacked kak Hidayah. Haha. Then suddenly everyone wanted to go out, so I called Amin & asked him to come home, cuz we wanted to go Danau Kota. Lololol. Of course, it was boring. Syg & I sat at a kdai mamak waiting fer the others fer more than an hr, till we both were complaining like mad. Gosh, to spend hrs at a pasar mlm's just bizarre. Haha. Got back at 3 sumthing, & again, while everyone went to sleep I watched movies & bermanja2 with my hubby HAHA wtf. T_T

Saturday, 6th June 2009.

Wedding reception today, bride's side. Had it at Setiawangse hall. Just a normal kenduri really, like always. Ate with syg, Meor & Kechik. & slightly later met Fitrah, Amin's school junior aka pet sis. Again we laughed & joked around while eating & after, as they usually did. Then went back home for our next assignment, making bunga telur.

Borrowed Intan's bju kurung to suit the theme.

Seriously, after seeing more than a thousand eggs, I seriously felt like throwing up. It was scary, not to mention lame & boring, but hey, what was I supposed to expect, it is a wedding after all, & I promised to help. Met another pet sis of syg's, Ain. Put it this way, the moment I saw her I knew she was someone I would really dislike. Of course, my assumptions were really true, the next day of course, but we'll get on to tht later. Syg, as usual, went out, to play snooker. Seriously I felt like slapping him on the spot, when he told me he went to play snooker. If he couldn't bring me out with him I would at least be entirely grateful if he at least stayed with me at home, since I was only there fer the few days. But what would I expect, boys kan. Pfft.

Didn't get to spent time with the boyf at night. The hse was packed, relatives were sharing the living room this time, & he came back so late it would look stupid if I were to sit there in the dark doing nothing. Was pissed again, b'cuz of him going out & not even bothering to tell me he was going out. So I forced myself to sleep. I had been lacking of sleep fer the past few days, mayb it was time I got some rest.

syg's messy room. We girls shared his room, since his was the most spacious one, & there were 6 of us. p/s, u may have realised tht I gained weight based on my pics. Pfft.

Sunday, 7th June 2009. The finale!

Today was the most anticipated day of all. At 7.30 am Umi came into the room shouting "Ey anak2 dara, dah kul brp dah nih?! Bgun siap2!!" HAHA wtf. Heard her waking up Amin over the phone once, ngan aku skali t'bgun, & tht was only over the phone wey! So imagine how loud she was tht morning, like masuk boot camp edi haha wtf. I followed Amin's footsteps, & rolled over & went back to sleep. Haha lol. Well, basically all of us did tht. Swt. Half an hr later got up & washed my face, woke syg up, & went to have breakfast. After tht got ready.

Everything went well basically, I was walking around giving out bunga telur haha. Stood at the hallway saying welcome to people. Felt like working again wey! Haha. Towards the end lepak-lepaked with syg & a bunch of our friends. Oh, & to prove how much my assumptions the previous day were accurate. The moment I saw tht pet sis of Amin's, Ain, I knew tht sort of person very well. Well, why wouldn't I, I could easily be like tht too, if I wanted to. Laughing out loud is normal, but having your hands all over my boyf & leaning on his lap or shoulder's way over the top, especially when the girlf's right beside him. Sbar je la aku kan, xrase cam nak lempang je, kesah la ko adik angkat ke anak angkat pun. But n'way, biar je la, budak mentah, xtau pape lg, fucking let it be then. No drama is worth creating fer someone like tht. You know the word, gedik? Tht hits the spot. I've had my 'gedik' moments too, course I know. Jealousy perhaps? Sori naik lori ar bai. I don't need other girls touching my boyf, go play with someone else; fucking leave mine alone.

Matching clothes! Weee. Haha. The bju kurung's obviously too large for me, I didn't gain tht much weight okay! >.<

syg's cousin.

sis Hidayah. ;)

Everyone basically were so tired after the whole ceremony. Triple dated at the living room wtf. Nana & Faiz, Farah & Anas, & me & syg. Lepak2 fer a while, until eventually syg & Faiz fell asleep. A moment after tht it was Nana's turn. So Farah, Anas, & myself sat chit chatting while I also busied myself maki-ing him. Hoho.

Inila Anas sesat HAHA.

When the most unusual couple sleep.

At night went to catch a late night movie at KLCC with syg, Anas, & Farah. Jgn Pandang Belakang Congkak, a comedy horror movie. Laughed like noone's business. Lol. Got back home at around 3.

Started camwhoring with syg, & this pic was damn random. Snapped as usual, only to look at the pic & realise tht we both did the same facial expression. Haha.

Overall the past few days were great. Syg's relatives were all quite warm & friendly. & how I get introduced, it's funny really. Intan & Umi would try making everything low profile, addressing me as 'kawan Amin' where everyone would obviously catch the meaning, but it sure doesn't help when you have his dad usik-ing me at every chance he gets, asking me at random times where's Amin in front of people or telling people loudly tht I'm 'Amin's girlfriend'. Haha. Duhh. One of his aunties was suggesting getting tags fer me & Hidayah during the wedding, so tht everyone would know whose 'kawan' we were. Ahaha. Lols.

Well, now, everything's back to normal ain't it? Classes, the usual dok kat rumah online, how I'll go online in myspace & see syg online playing dota & get kecil ati b'cuz he can have the time to cmnt other girls but can't seem to spare time to leave me just one single cmnt or msg or wtvr. Life's great ain't it. Gah.

Had to take a pic fer my student id today. Explain the formal bju yea.
Fyi, tht's mum's blouse. She gave it to me to wear to work last time, but unfortunately, I couldn't wear it, b'cuz it was too tight. In fact, I couldn't even button it. Now, it's not only wearable, it's even loose. Was I really tht fat last time? Pfft.

Finally found a topic for my public speaking presentantion. Various reasons why men lie to women. Professional enough? Haha. Good topic really. Explains why syg likes to lie to me all the time. I hate tht. I hate liars. Gosh just stop it, no matter what it's about.

Will blog more on the topic tmrw. Meanwhile, I need to sleep, it's late. Class at 8 tmrw.

.Wednesday, June 03, 2009 @ 5:59 PM Y

Currently tuning into: Automatic Panic Ft Dj Cat Nyc - The Sound

Ever since before I started university never in my life did I think I'd actually be at university, lepaking in a group in the corridors. I had always imagined myself sitting alone at some corner wtf. Anti social la kan. Haha. Now I spend my breaks lepaking at some table in the corridors with most of my classmates, & other students, girls & guys alike. Fun really, I feel so at home. Was thinking tht since I'm malay it'd be hard to mix around, but in fact now everyone's approaching me. Haha. University life has never been better.

N'way, had economics lecture this morning. Hmm, not tht bad I guess, a lot of reading needed, so I'm dead. Then lepaked with some friends, Jolyn, John, Ee Kai, Swee Min, & a lot of others. Then we went fer Business Maths. Asked my tutor/lecturer how Business Maths really was, & he said it was like Add Maths, but slightly advanced, causing me to accidently say out loud "Gah, tht's it, I'm changing course after this,". The whole class started laughing at my statement. Wtf. Seriously, otak karat already wey! In our lecture we had to practice doing some function & straight line questions, like in the Spm ones. Serious wey, those two were some of my fave subtopics, & now I got all my formulas mixed up. Pfft. & the lecturer claims us to be smart enough to pass his sub. Sheesh. N'way, I may want to continue my degree in Kampar, Perak. May be far, but it's a nice place really, & most of my friends are going there too.

After lectures went to Sunway fer gym. Damn a lot of people wey! Note to self, never, ever step foot in a shopping mall when it's school holidays. The immature school kiddos make me feel like laughing out loud, sarcastically of course, the idiotic bitches who think they're so darn fuck pretty makes me feel like slapping them, & finally those couples who walk along holding hands & hugging each other make me feel so..single & unloved. Pfft. Idk, mayb it's b'cuz of the fact tht I was so tired I almost fainted.

Sry fer the fugly face, br bgun kan. Here's the shirt I was talking about. Imagine Amin wearing it. Ahaha. Just now got back home from uni & nek perli me wey! Asked if I was going to study or to ngorat. Wtf. Gi U pun kene la nmpk smart kan. Ngahaha. :P

Meanwhile, I got an offer letter from UiTM. Since my request into UiTM itself got rejected, they offered me a spot at some Islamic college under UiTM, Institut Profesional Baitulmal, in KL. Yes, which obviously means tht if I go there I'll have to cover up & 'tutup aurat'. Which is the last thing I'll do, sry to say. Lantak la murah camne kan. I'm just not ready. Pfft. Thank God I'm already in UTAR. Sheesh.

N'way, gotta print out my lecture & tutorial notes & find a topic for my Public Speaking 5-minuite speech in 2 weeks time. Pfft. Laters.

. @ 12:57 AM Y

Currently tuning into: The Veronicas - Popular

Day two of university. Started with Public Speaking lecture. As Sharon had warned us at our tutorial previously, her lecture did turn out to be slightly boring. Haha. Gosh it's so cool getting to call your lecturer by only her name HAHA pfft. Then had English tutorial with Mr. Yaw, who starting ranting & complaining about the goverment & their confusing roads & stuff. Haha. Lolx. After that had an half an hr break, so went with a few of my classmates to eat.

After tht had Computer studies, which mind you, was a total bore. Mayb it was b'cuz I was too sleepy, Idk, but basically within 10 minutes I was asleep. Lmao. Didn't hear much, basically it was about assignments & stuff, but I jotted notes down. Only God knows how since I was basically half asleep already. Haha. Oh, lecturer very stingy. Apparently if you misspell her name in your assignments she'll minus 2marks. Wtf wey! Sheesh. & I don't even rmbr her name, it was Ashvini or sumthing like tht HAHA. Oh, & I'm definitely gonna hate this Sub, perhaps even more than Public Speaking. Codes wey! Not just any code, but those involving base 2, base 8, & all those base crap. Fuckkk. I don't need a double dose of xtra hard add maths wey. T_T

Last class was Economics tutorial. Tutor's Ms.Ida, my very first Malay tutor. Thank God I'm not the only one there wtf. N'way, she's a master graduate in Financing from UIA. Oh, & I swore I saw several lovebites on her neck. Xkan lebam kan, kat leher. Ahahah. Dahsyat bnar. Roflmao. N'way, she denda me to answer all the tutorial questions next week, just b'cuz I couldn't rmbr my classmate's names. Or more like I volunteered to do tht. Lol. Can't blame me wey! I always have trouble memorizing Chinese names. Pfft. Meanwhile, everyone rmbr's me, unexpectingly making me the most known one there. Haha wtf.

Oh, forgot to post about this random conversation with my mum a few days back. See, during tht shopping spree of mine I accidently bought two of the same tops, one just nice & another too big fer me. Lol. Soooo:

Frh : Mummy, see this shirt I'm wearing? I accidently bought 2. Xperasan also, when I check back just now got 2. Pfft. & the other's too big fer me. How?
Mummy : *Tgh masak* Huh? Hmm. Dunno. Give Amin la. Tell him to wear it la, you both couple, cute what wear same baju. *laughs*
Frh : Uh, mummy, girl's top, durr. He'll look gay wey HAHAHA wtf! He won't wear it laa.
Mummy : Tell him, that if he loves you wear it, & even if he looks gay you'll still love him.
Frh : *laugh laugh laugh laugh* Others will laugh at him laa mummy! *laughs yet again*
Mummy : Why care about the others? You love him what, tht's all that matters isn't it? So why care about other people?
Frh : Hmm. Guess so. *continues laughing madly again HAHA*

Aww. Mummy's so sweet haha. Ever since tht day when she heard me crying on the phone while arguing with syg only did she realise that I was actually serious about all this. Which explains the efforts in making syg feel like family & her giving advise once in a while on how to change Amin. Haha lol.

& the beat goes on.

.Tuesday, June 02, 2009 @ 2:24 AM Y

Currently tuning into: Electrosexual Crew - Automatic Panic

Seriously wey, reading all the posts in my tagboard, couldn't help but laugh. When Grace announced I was dead just b'cuz I didn't update my blog, & how some ppl though I really was dead(cough cough Bhai cough HAHA), then when I asked Casper whether he found a calon gf already or not, like a month before he mintak cpl with me. Haha. Wtf. He did inofficially do tht in my tagboard if you noticed but I nvr actually took him seriously. Then tht cmnt from Yon, ayt agk jiwang la wtf HAHA. & how I was supposed to go partying with Bhai. Ape jd wey?! Lol.

I'm still dead disappointed about tht wedding. Even Kak Norlie knew how much I was looking forward to it. Pfft. Meanwhile, mummy's kinda scared, despite her not saying n'thing, I know. She's kinda pissed at the fact tht I'm not even in their family yet, so why go through all the hassle. I'm assuming tht in future if I'd ever get married, she won't be letting go tht easily. Sheesh. Wtffff.

It's 2.30am. I deperately need some sleep. I have to wake up at 6 wey!
Nite lovers.

.Monday, June 01, 2009 @ 5:58 PM Y

Currently tuning into: The Medic Droid - Fer Sure

Soo. First day of university was actually nice! Haha. Arrived at 10, but due to a misunderstandiing of the timetable I had class at 12, so had to hang around. Pfft. Xbosan lak aku, dahlah sorg2. N'way, English was taught by Ms Paveena, better known as Miss V(p.s, hot & single wey HAHA ), who uh, well, looks like some Sabahan or Sarawakian to me, ntah. So, not much today, just revised back on the usual stuff like nouns & pronouns & stuff. Had to find a partner in class & introduce tht person, instead of the usual introduce myself crap. University level of course. Haha. Paired up with Ching Yee, from Cheras.

After lecture lepaked around, waiting fer Public Speaking tutorial to start. Made another friend, Sarah, & started talking about National Service. Haha wtf. N'way, class started at 3. The tutor/lecturer, Miss Sharon looked very fierce at first, but after awhile she was really awesome, cracking jokes, those stuff. Public Speaking la kan. Haha. At the end of class we all had to go one by one in front of class, introduce ourselves, & represent ourselves as something. As fer me, I represented myself as a music player. Ngahaha.

Oh, I suck at Public Speaking wey! Yes, I can talk loud & clear, but you'll realise that I'll be looking at the 4 walls & the ceiling around me HAHA. & I already have an assignment right now. I need to prepare a 5-minute speech to present in front of class in two weeks time. Gah. Tlg wey! Pfft.

& yea, about that wedding I was so much looking forward to. By the looks of it I can't go. Mummy allows me to sleep at his hse & stuff, but she's not gonna give the car. Basically, I still need the car, cuz I have to go fer classes, & syg has no car. So yea, the only thing I can do is to not go at all, which fucking sucks. I've been looking forward to this day since what, the 1st time I went to syg's house? Tht was like in freaking December. Xsakit ati aku. Urgh, I feel so crappy right now. All tht stupid preparation fer nothing. Why did I even buy tht baju kurung in the 1st place wey?! Buang duit aku je kot. & I refuse to follow mum back to Kuantan, though basically if I blk I can still lepak with Syukri & Sheeya(don't fucking ask me why I included her), but I rather stay & rot in my room. Pfft. I feel like crying. Haha wtf. T_T

Enabled my tagboard again, so leave your cmnts there yeah! Would love to know who actually reads my blog. Read my old cmnts, I spent a lot of time arguing with syg there, & something bout finding him a girlf HAHA, & there's even a cmnt frm Yon when we fought last time. Ngahaha. All tht I love you crap, gosh we were so immature. Sheesh.


.Farah Alia.
Growing up, lost in her ups & downs, desperately trying to find the real meaning of life. With only 18 yrs of experience in life, its a journey. With memories that can nvr be forgotten.


Family. <33
The best family ever. To mummy & papa; Bringing me into this world, raising me up & protecting me, you're the only ones that I know who would never abandon me. You taught me the importance of loving a family, to take care of others, to value life & live as a good person. Even if once I didn't understand why & thought tht you were a nuisance to me, as I grow older I started to know why, & try my best to appreciate it. Of course, growing up, as Mummy puts it, I nvr know how high the sky is or how deep the ground is, in other words, I don't know my limits, but one thing's fer sure, I'll nvr forget how important family really is. Words of wisdom, I live to the fullest each day. I love you all.

Friends. <33
All sorts. Close, best, good, or just friends. All around, to laugh with, to share with, to be together with. Besties like Nad, supportive when they can be, there to cheer you up when you're down, we need people like that in our lives. I'm grateful to have friends like y'all, to share the fun I experience with. To just talk, or chill, or hangout. A part of your life that is always a must fer everyone. I love y'all. (:


Mell Joy Hilman
Liyana Sharia


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