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.Thursday, January 29, 2009 @ 11:28 PM Y

Currently tuning into: Fireflight - More Than A Love Song

Think it's good being your managers fave? For fuck's sake, fucking think again.

Today, I had to work for fucking 12 hrs, from 9.30am to 9.30pm, just to help my manager, En.Azran out. Since Giant Putra Heights was stll new, he had difficulties getting a supervisor to work there, & all the staff there, including myself were all new. Only God knows why the hell he decided to choose to trust me the most among the others. Why would I say tht?

Here's the thing. In Hinode Gift Shop, only the supervisors & above ranks, aka the ones who been there for at least months to yrs can become the cashiers, the key holders & stuff. Yet I've been there for less than 2weeks, 8 days to be exact, yet I'm doing all those jobs, taking care of the counter, keeping the shop keys, the one working overtime, supervising the other staff. & the other girl who came in on the same day as me works below me, with much less responsibilities. You'd be thinking "wow, shows Frh really knows how to gain trust," but seriously, it may be nice knowing tht you've gained enough trust to be held responsible for huge things, but it can be quite tiring too. No time for many other things, like family, friends, the boyf especially. All tht is not fun, not at all.

Even mummy was slightly pissed, she had the feeling tht En.Azran would ask me to work overtime today. But nevertheless, yrs of experience of being a manager herself, she fully understood why he had to do so, & asked me to help out, just this once. Well, its the experience tht matters, I guess.

Oh, which, talking bout work. The other day some perverted bastard tht works opposite my shop attempted to harrass me. Ok, so it was just a slight tug at my finger & an 'accidental' bump of his hand onto my waist but yea, I call tht fucking harrassing. I mean, who the fuck are you to touch me? & he has a wife & a kid. Urgh, 90% of the human male species are friggin pigs. N'way, one hard push & phrase of "I have a boyf," shut him up well.

.Wednesday, January 28, 2009 @ 11:05 AM Y

Currently tuning into: No Doubt - Ex-Girlfriend

Just got back from Kuantan like an hr ago, back from the CNY hols. Gawd, this yr's CNY sucked hardcore. No one came, since my grandma's not here anymore, so basically it was just celebration with family. On the bright side, still received a lot of ang paus. Haha.

So, on CNY eve we had steamboat, as usual every yr. Didn't have yee sang though. Then on CNY morning we went to the crematorium to perform prayers for my late grandma, great-grandma, & aunt. Gosh, the years pass so fast. It's already my grandma's 2nd death anniversary, my aunt's 10th anniversary, & my great-grandma's 6th anniversary. Quite frightening really, once you start thinking about it.

Tht's more or less all tht we had for this yr's CNY celebrations. Nothing much, but n'way, it's over & done with.

CNY morning, before going to the crematorium.
Cousin Vicky.

The brother.

Cousin Vivian here. Here's to our CNY nite madness.

Random camwhoring.

It's back to work fer me in a few hrs time. Gah. Bite me.

Oh, here's my complete bear family. Lmao.

.Friday, January 23, 2009 @ 12:37 AM Y

Currently tuning into: Britney Spears - Quicksand

Everything's changing & I don't feel the same.

Work's officially over for the week, & I'll be continuing after CNY, on Wednesday. After my 5th day being in this job, I guess it isn't all bad after all. In fact, I'm starting to enjoy it quite abit.

N'way, this afternoon one of the abangs working in front of my shop came up to me & asked what was my plans after getting my results. Then he asked me to work hard, & study hard in the future. Since then I spent the whole day daydreaming, wondering how life would be like in a few months time. Among those thoughts:

1. Studies. Would I succeed in getting into UiTM? If I do, where will I be? Near home or far from all loved ones? Would I succeed in being a major in business & finance? If I don't get into UiTM, would I be stuck working in Hinode, or perhaps some other job?

2. PLKN. Will I escape frm going, or at least request to postpone? Or will I be going for those 3 months? If I do, how would everything change when I come back? Will they remain the same as before, or would there be changes? If really there are changes, will they be good or bad?

3. The boyf. Will I still be with him in those months to come? Or would we have gone separate ways, leaving behind all we had? & if I really do go for PLKN, will he be there waiting for me with open arms when I get back, or would he have abandoned all we had & started a new life, excluding me? Would there be any probs in future where a 3rd party would be involved?

Gosh. Thinking about tht boyf part actually made me want to drop down on the floor & start crying. Yea, at work. Imagine me doing tht. I swore I almost cried out loud, if it wasn't for the fact tht I was working & had make-up on. It hurts to think, to imagine coming back frm PLKN to see a person I love so much, with another person, just b'cuz I wasn't there for 3 months. It hurts to have to accept the fact tht, it is indeed reality. I mean, which guy would actually have the will to wait for 3months, without seeing other girls in tht period, or sumthing like tht. Chances of tht happening is like less than 1%. Nevertheless, thinking of tht still makes me want to cry, especially since now so many things have changed. A distance in our relationship, fights over basically nothing, less keeping in touch than before, all these small things that leave a huge impact on me. Right now if I had the tears to cry I would have broke down immediately. Seriously, it's hard having to say I don't care when I care every single bit. The sensitivity in me I guess.

& studies. Gah. I hate to think of what to expect when I receive my Spm results. How many As will I get? Will I fail any subject? I'm quite sure tht I failed TK, cuz I didn't really answer tht paper much. Gah. Thinking of tht is so darn depressing it's like a 5kg weight on my head. Business & finance huh? I'd like to see how I could actually cope with tht.

Gah. I feel so sick & sad & depressed right now it's killing me. I'm hoping it's just the PMS mood, bz welcoming my monthly period.

Crap. I just rmbred. Tht's another prob.

.Tuesday, January 20, 2009 @ 12:57 AM Y

Currently tuning into: Cascada - Everytime We Touch

Yeaaaaa. Three months bby! Happy anniversary Amin syg! Another 2 months & this will be my longest relationship, & I'm hoping it'll also be the last relationship tht I have, cuz Amin is just so perfect to me tht no one else can or will ever replace him in my heart. Ilysdfm!! <33333

N'way, I survived 3rd day of work, having worked with my manager En.Azran around, & having him indirectly promoting me to become assistant supervisor. He told me tht this was the first time tht he actually let a newbie handle the counter & tht I should learn how to do the wrapping & stocking & stuff with my supervisors. Means a whole lot to me, since in Hinode only the older staff were allowed to handle the counter, & I had only been there for 3days. N'way, today the shop was almost my own, especially when the manager & supervisor went out for break & I was left with another newbie. Nevertheless, not many customers, so not much to do, thank God. & then there was this chinese-looking malay woman tht was so fucking racist it was disgusting. 1st she made it a very clear statement when I went up to her & spoke in Chinese, thinking she was a Chinese. But for the 2nd time a deadly look from me made her make the right decision by shutting her big fat mouth up & keeping dead quiet, swallowing her words up.

Oh, the most interesting convos of the day:

Chinese lady: Uh, miss, you mixed arr?
Frh: Yes mam, hehe.
Chinese lady: Oh. no wonder. You're very pretty, got look like mixed one.
Frh: Oh oh! Hehe. Thanks mam.

Indian man: *checks out oil burners*
Frh: Welcome sir, may I help you? Rm5 for every item!
Indian man: Yes, I see tht. *points at sign*
Frh: Yes, but most customers tend to overlook it sir, tht's why I'm here to promote.
Indian man: *laughs* Yea, from far cannot see the sign, but can see your pretty face promoting in front of the shop. *grins*
Frh: Errr. Thx sir. *runs to the back of the shop to serve other customer*

WTFFFFF. Lmao. Tht was one statement I got a lot today, weirdly, & another question was whether I was chinese or malay.

Oh. Rumour. PARAMORE'S COMING TO MALAYSIA!!!! Woohoo. Dang wey! If they really do I swear no one's ever gonna stop me from going to tht concert, & I mean nobody, NO family mmbr, NO boyf, NO friend, NO work, NO stupid PLKN crap's gonna stop me from going to tht concert bby. Fuck the wild crowds, Paramore's the shit wey!


.Monday, January 19, 2009 @ 12:59 AM Y

Currently tuning into: Britney Spears - Unusual You

Sooo. 2nd day of work huh? A fucking blast wey! Haha. It was actually fun today, since I was actually bz, & thanks to some very nice customers I had a great day. Idk really, but things just took over today. Lucky I suppose? It was way beyond words to describe what a day I had.

N'way, was working morning shift today, 9am-6pm. Got in, signed in my attendance & helped my supervisor to restock up the shelf items & stuff. After that it was usual customer service & stuff. Then there was this customer who was check out the oil burners & fragrance oils. Naturally, since that was the very item tht I was very familiar with, I gave hime assistance, eventually getting him to buy a complete set; candles, oil burner, & a few fragrance oils. N'way, before he left the shop he did a brief interview (wtf) to me, asking me random questions like where I lived & how long I had worked there. Eventually I told him tht it was only my 2nd day & that I was just a high school graduate. He was quite surprised to find me as only an 18 yr old, & according to him, "a very good speaker", & tht I could go very far in life. Ahh. Words of a wise old man. Ahaha. Course, mum had already briefed me on tht part about communicating well with customers & stuff, but getting this compliment from a customer on my 2nd day at work, the feeling's just wonderful.

After hrs of promoting & eventually turning my words of "rm5 per item" & "rm5 bg setiap brg" in "rm5 per object" & "rm1 bg 5brg" (WTF), I grabbed some African couple's attention, when I said tht every item was for rm5, & the girlf immediately dragged her boyf in the shop. Haha. N'way, while assisting them the boyf asked me if our shop had any gigantic globe, apparently as big as him. Haha. As the conversation went:

African man: So miss, do you know n'where I can get a custom made globe, as big as me.
Frh: *laughs* Well, I'm sorry sir, but I'm not very sure about tht.
African man: Oh, so you're not sure yah Miss, uh, Amin Frh?
Frh: Uh, pardon me?
African man: *points at necklace* That's your name rite?
Frh: Oh, only Frh sir. U can call me Frh.
African man: & Amin is...?
Frh: Uh, tht's my boyf's name sir.


Then around 4pm, my supervisor, Kak Wani had to go for break, but there was no one to be the cashier. In Hinode only the ones that had worked for a long time were trustworthy enough to look after the counter, but today the other 3 salesgirls, including me, were all newbies. However, for some reason she chose me to become the cashier for the day, teaching me how the process was & everything. Was quite confident that I could handle everything but after Kak Wani left I was a mess. I was struggling to pack up items into boxes, which I was very slow at, & promoting the mmbr card at the same time. Apart frm tht I had trouble using the cash machine (or wtvr u call it in this case), having click the wrong keys & stuff. B'cuz of tht, I had a hard time handling my 1st few customers & apologized non-stop while explaining tht it was first time at the counter. Luckily, they understood me well, & forgave me, even if it meant leaving without a receipt & no xtra points in their mmbrship card. Gahh. However, this Indian lady customer comforted me after seeing me so frustrated & said tht everyone has their 1st time in something, & tht I shouldn't worry so much. Then she asked me if I was a high school leaver & stuff, & said tht she was some E-learning consultant & gave her name card & said tht I should give her a call, if I wanted any help on further studies.

As 6.30 came I still wasn't packed up & ready to go, since I was so bz with customers. Guess the supervisor must have found me a bit too commited to work, or weird perhaps, cuz unlike the other 2 newbies in Hinode, I never asked if I could go for break, eventhough I knew well tht it was my breaktime. I always wait for my supervisor to call me & let me out. Besides tht it was 6.30, & yet I was still serving customers, while the others desperately got their things out of the drawer, & signed out, ASAP. If it wasn't for the fact tht my neighbour passed by & offered to send me home, I could have been working overtime I guess.

N'way, while I was walking with my neighbour to the entrance I looked through the msgs I received while I was working, & read one tht was frm syg asking me to call immediately after I finish work. So, I called. & well wht do you know. Surprise surprise, boyf's otw to get me! Haha. Gosh, here was a feeling I wouldn't forget, again. I swore I was so happy I almost cried. Lmao. So much for something wrong with us. Swtz.

The face of a new sales girl on her 1st day of work.

2nd day - Done with makeup.

All good to go! ;D

So, after he fetched me from work we went to Hero to get some stuff for my mum & then stopped by at one of syg's friend's hse in Alam Megah. Then at 7-ish stopped by at my hse cuz syg wanted to perform Maghrib prayers(yes, my boyf prays, unlike me. kthx,). After tht went to Summit to have dinner, & to kacau Nad, as always. Haha.

Before syg left he gave me a bag of gifts, given from his sis. Mind you, they're all so cuteeee! I love her, though atm I don't really know much about her. T.T

Perfect as decos rite? Both 2 of my fave colours. (:

Another teddy, coincidently from Hinode, the place I work at.


Here's the thing about the ladybug. I was looking at it till I got very fasinated by a tiny ladybug on it. Since tht item was basically a ladybug, I assumed it was a fake one, maybe a tiny deco, well, tht is, until it started moving. Another few looks & there was no denial; this tiny ladybug I saw on this deco ladybug was a live one. I mean, imagine tht. How often does one actually get a gift of a deco ladybug & observe it only to find tht there's a teeny weeny live ladybug on it. Haha. I loved it, since I love ladybugs, but mum freaked out, saying everything was a bit too weird. Haha. I placed it on my palm & it just sat there quietly, not showing any signs of wanting to flyaway or summat. Finally I placed it on my jasmine tree. 15 mins later & I went to check on i again, expecting it to be gone. But wht do u know, little ladybug was still there.

I'm still wondering wht this whole ladybug means. It can't be coincidence, it's a bit too much ain't it? Nevertheless, today must have been the luckiest day of my life, apart from the day Casper became mine.

.Sunday, January 18, 2009 @ 12:12 AM Y

Currently tuning in: Forever The Sickest Kids - My Worst Nightmare

So. I made it through day one of work. Woohoo. Hinode rocks! Lmao. But, my feet hurt. Gah. Sob sob. Standing fer 8hrs a day is definitely not easy wey! Sheesh.

N'way, throughout the first half hr I was a bit nervous & quiet but after tht I rocked the shop by promoting, & getting many customer's attention. Woohoo! I rock! Wtfff. Lmao. N'way, unlike the other sales assistances there I interacted with the customers, asking what occasion they were buying their stuff for, & suggesting things for them to buy, or types of things to buy & add-on, eventually causing to buy more. Ahahaha. The others all looked at me in a very weird way, cuz despite it being my first day at work I had definitely attracted many customers attention, especially the chinese, since they basically thought I was chinese. A few however asked if I was malay or chinese, cuz it's a clear fact tht only 1% of chinese ppl actually take the job of being a salesgirl.

I think I did well for my first day of work. It wasn't so bad after all. But Idk how long I can actually tahan standing. It's killing my poor feet. Sheesh.

Oh, blog readers, come visit me yah! Hinode Gift Shop, Giant Mall, Putra Heights. It'll be a pleasant treat seeing familiar faces there.


.Friday, January 16, 2009 @ 6:09 PM Y

Currently tuning into: The Devil Wears Prada - Still Fly

So. I passed my undang test which was in some place all the way in Jalan Ipoh, KL, tmrw I have to go to yet another 6hr bengkel, I have to delay my work until Sunday, I have this weird feeling tht something is gonna go wrong between my boyf & I, & I'm currently fucked up, tired, & downright depressed.

I feel so freaking terrible right now it's idiotic. Gah. Wish I could just drop dead right now.


So, postponed bengkel to nx Friday, cuz my manager agreed to give me an off day fer tht, starting working tmrw at 1.30, right up until 11pm, & now I'm feeling slightly better, after getting some sleep. Not sure about the boyf thing though. But wtvr happens, I'm prepared, I think.

.Thursday, January 15, 2009 @ 4:30 PM Y

Currently tuning into: Britney Spears - Phonography

Finally. I'm a full time working woman baby. Lmao. Got hired to work at this Japanese gift shop in Giant, Putra Heights. Starting work this Saturday. Fast huh? I definitely can't wait. As the conversation went on with mum:

Mum: Gosh Farah, I'm so glad you got a job here. Alhamdullillah. Trust me, working in the retail line fer so long, this job is good. Not much hard work. Nasib baik xapply work in Giant. If not, shit man, you'll fucking cry working. *laughs* & your boss seems like a nice person. & he's cute too. Yea, very good looking. *chuckles*

Frh: Yea. I can't wait for Saturday! Uh, cute. Hello, mum, I'm taken here!!! *laughs*


Oh, undang test tmrw. Wish me luck!

.Sunday, January 11, 2009 @ 11:34 PM Y

Currently tuning into: Paramore - My Heart

This heart, it beats, beats for only you.
My heart is yours. (:

Sooo. Today last yr, was the beginning of a disaster. One tht myself, Nad, & not to forget Bell would ever forget. Well, especially me, but mind you, eventhough at tht time it was frustrating, nw Nad & I think back about it & start laughing.

11th January 2007, Friday. Today was the first time I met Faqrul Radzi, aka Bunjuwt in person, after getting to know him from Myspace a few months back. Oh, here's the small details bout me & him. Yes, I was already taken at tht time, yet Jut & I were dang close. We practically spent the whole day texting each other & at night he would call me after hanging out with his friends & after late night games(dak scoot laa).

N'way, on this day I had tuition in the afternoon, so arranged to meet him at Makbul, before I went fer class. Since I basically knew tht I would have trouble talking to him (I'm kinda quiet, u know. Lmao) I invited Bell to come along, to help kill the akward silence tht I knew would be there. So, after school I stayed back at WY's hse to get ready, then at 4-ish walked to Makbul, before my class at 5.15. Meeting him was akward, but thank God Bell finally came, along with her bf then & Nad, making the meeting quite enjoyable.

N'way, long story cut short, after he got to know my friends, the trouble began. He began fooling around with all of us. Eventually, due to me having a huge crush on him, & being a little too possessive, eventhough we were not an item, all these little stuff got to me. Like Nad & Bell going out late nights with him, & stuff like tht. Of course, we nvr knew about each other's activities with him, until one day both of them decided to come clean with me. Among the three of us, I was always the most sensitive, so after hearing their stories, I couldn't help but feel a little hurt. After all, I met him first, we were supposed to be the ones close to each other, so why should my besties be involved too?

N'way, after each 3 of us knew what was going on, we decided to play a prank on him. One night, all of us asked him out, Nad & Bell asking him to pick them up at their hse, while I told him to come to my hse(woohooo! haha). Lmao. We all decided to ask him to come at exactly the same time, 2am. Course, we all asked him out at separate times. The most amusing part was tht he said yes to all of us. Hah. Talk about greedy huh? Sah2 tgh sanggap thap cipan la tuh. So, the next step was to reject him, one by one. Nad rejected him first, since she wasn't well, & Bell ignored him completely, since she was with her bf, though she was the one tht asked him out. Haha. Finally, he came to me. My simple excuse: line xclear. He got so frustrated he started sighing very loud over the phone. For the fact tht he was already in front of my hse. Haha. Wtf. Pdan ngan mke ko.

N'way, many other things happened I guess, but fer the sake of my friends privacy I won't be writing about them. Oh, did I tell you, tht Nad had a crush on Jut too? Yea, weeks after knowing him, & going through everything tht I went through, she fell for him, & mind you, she fell hard, alike me. But despite all the fighting our friendship was basically too strong to be torn apart, & everything went back to before, though I was still a little stuck & upset from the event. Nad & Bell actually wrote about it in their 1st term exam. The ending of the essay was given, "...& there was nothing but pain & frustration in her eyes,". Yea, you've guessed, tht particular 'her' they wrote about was me. Since both wrote the same story, their English teacher was soon after me, asking questions. Wtf.

Eventually, after this event, Nad & Bell started getting involved with Jut's friends, & the same story happened again, this time I was stuck in the middle. Even I myself had a fling with one of the boys in this "SJ scoot" gang, but nothing serious. Guess those idiots are jinxes. N'way, Nad & I made a deal to write about this today, but since she's bz working, guess I'm the only one. Lol.

12th January 2007, 4am, Saturday. I broke up with my boyf then, Ismail Ihsan. Why? B'cuz I was a terrible girlf, tht's why. I fooled around with other guys, I even had another boyf, & basically the only reason I agreed to be his girlf was b'cuz I was thinking tht this would help me move on from my previous break up. & after doing all this, I felt terribly guilty, knowing tht he loved me so much & I was being so unfaithful. So, hence, yea, I broke it off. For both our own goods. So, if you, Is, happen to read this sometime in the future, here's the real answer tht I've been keeping ever since.

N'way, I learnt my lesson, the hard way. I never liked hurting other ppl's feelings, & b'cuz of my selfishness, I did the last thing tht I had sworn not to do, ever. After the end of this relationship I had sworn to never let myself agree to being a person's girlf if I knew I would never be committed. I stuck myself to tht promise, right until this very moment. Boys came in & out of my life like tv programmes, but I rejected them gently but firmly, if I didn't have any feelings for them.

I just don't want to be one of those girls that go behind their boyf's back. I don't want to hurt other people's feelings, when it is so unneccessary. I don't want to play the fool, playing with other people's feelings. & I definitely do not want to be labelled as the bitch who likes playing around with guys. I mean, if someone actually did it to you, you'd hate it too wouldn't you? These are the certain things that you could avoid doing completely, full stop. Besides tht, what goes around comes around, so why treat others badly when eventually they'll come back to you. Gah, guess there's just a whole lot to learn about in life.

.Saturday, January 10, 2009 @ 12:48 AM Y

Currently Tuning Into: Eyes Set To Kill - This Love You Breathe

Boy oh boy, wasn't today an interesting one. Got woken up by syg at 5.30am to get up. Obviously, due to the fact tht I slept at 2am it was hard trying to get up, so syg gave me another half hr. Haha. Then when he called again I spent almost a whole minute mumbling on the phone about not wanting to get up only to realise tht I was actually talking to his friend On, & not him. Wtf. N'way, finally forced myself to get up, take a shower, grab a quick drink, & get out of the hse. Left at around 6.45, since we had to send my brother to school first. Due to jam we arrived at my driving academy at around 8.30. Still had to wait fer our driver to come, who smartly asked us to come by 8 when he was later than us. N'way, mum & I decided to have a drink while waiting. By the time I actually left the place it was already 9.30.

Went there in a van. There were a few familiar faces, like some guy from tuition who I've nvr spoken to, & my schoolmate, Fiona. Arrived at around 10-ish & had to register by giving our ICs & thumbprints. almost couldn't enter class b'cuz of the fact tht I was wearing sandals, thx to some idiot to decided not to tell me tht there were actually certain rules to be followed. N'way, being the 'bitch' I was, I threw a fit there, blaming it all on the person tht didn't tell me not to wear slippers, & telling them tht they should blame me for their own mistake. Sheesh. N'way, at last they allowed me in, but asked me to sit in one of the back rows. Seriously, as if the lecturer would actually come to me & suddenly say "Why are you wearing slippers," in the middle of his lecture. For God's sakes, firstly, I wasn't even wearing slippers, I was wearing sandals, which are decent enough, & it's not like I'm going naked or summat. Gah. All the ridiculous rules ppl make up.

1st part of the course started in the morning, at around 10.30. The lecturer was actually funny, & definitely not boring. Really needed tht, cause if not I would have been asleep in less than 5 minutes. But at least I had syg to chat with via text. However the 2nd part was uber, duper, boredom. The lecturer was perhaps as old as my grandad, & was I bit too serious. Within minutes you could half the class sleeping. Lmao. As fer me, I was chilled right down to the bone. It was fucking cold, mind you, & I hadn't thought of bringing a jacket, unlucky me. The feeling was terrible, I was so cold I was practically shivering, & my arms & legs were numb & painful.

While in class I made some new friends, like 17 yr old Adrian from Tmn Sea, & 22 yr old Ganesh from Australia who just came to Malaysia 3 days ago. His background was more or less like mine, being Malaysian, but growing up in another country. Course, the only difference between us was tht I was born in London, while he was originally born here, though he had stayed in Australia all his life. Since he couldn't understand Malay, & the whole course was in Malay, decided to give him a hand & helped him translate stuff tht the lecturer was saying, with some help from Adrian as well.

It was a new experience really, talking about Australia & other countries & stuff, the 3 of us. & due to him having an accent in his English, I followed along. Idk why, but it just tends to happen tht way. When I speak to a Malaysian my English turns into Manglish, but when to an outsider or summat it'll be just as it has always been since I was young, though with a little less British accent. Not to brag or anything, but you should try listening to me speak to a non-local. Trust me, it's way different. Weird, but true. T.T

The whole thing finished at 4-ish. In the van I made friends with another person, Grace, who was 19 & had just finished her STPM in SMK Seafield. It was fun really getting to know knew ppl, though I have to say tht most of them were stuck-up, mainly the Chinese. No racism here, since I'm 60% chinese too, but it's a fact.

The 'text book' I received today.

500 questions. T_T

Soalan & jawapan. (:

& Frh herself. Wtf.

By the time mum came to get me from the driving academy it was already 5.45pm. By the time I reached home it was 6.30pm. Dropped dead on the sofa & fell asleep instantly.

Call me vain, but boredom called.

Something's currently very wrong with me. Seriously, I'm hoping it's not what I think it is, cause at this time of my life I'm just not ready for all tht yet. It'd better be some normal sickness.

N'way, gonna go study fer my undang test nx week. Gah. More studying. Sheesh.

.Wednesday, January 07, 2009 @ 11:27 PM Y

Currently tuning into: Taylor Swift - Love Story

Went to Sunway just now with syg & his friends, to play bowling. Only the guys played since my left arm wasn't really in the mood to play. Lol. The guys were awesome, & it was fun laughing around with them & stuff. Just plain awesome ain't it. I love his family, I love the type of friends he has, & most importantly, I love him. It all just seems to add up perfectly.

N'way, after tht we went to Kfc fer early dinner. Seriously, I starting to wonder why everytime we eat together it always happens to be Kfc. Our 1st date, my b'day, yesterday, today. Not complaining, but it's a bit coincidently weird. Haha. So, after tht, we hung around fer awhile, then went back home. Otw home, again syg fell asleep, this time on my thigh. Boy, talk about tido mati wey. He was sleeping so soundly tht his arm kept slipping off my legs, & I was struggling to pull it back up. Ahaha. Nevertheless, he seriously looked cute when he was sleeping. Wanted to snap a pic, but decided not to in the end. Haha. Which reminds me. Just now, I realised tht he has pretty eyes. Ngahaha. He has the most amazing eyelashes ever wey! Course, he doesn't end up looking as gay as Jeremy Danker. Hahaha. Jkjk. ;D

Oh, I registered for driving lessons this morning. Friday's the 5 hr khusus, which is located in Damansara. Gah. Help me wey!

.Tuesday, January 06, 2009 @ 11:47 PM Y

Currently tuning into: Nelly Furtado - All Good Things Come to An End

Went out with syg again today. Along with Ramzy & another friend of his, Wan. Went to Summit, cuz the guys wanted to eat KFC & play snooker, & I wanted to see Nad, since she started working at Cold Storage & I hadn't seen her in almost a whole month.

So, around 4-ish syg arrived at my place. Had to call mum since she wasn't home. Was supposed to go to Sunway but made last minute changes & ended up going to Summit instead. N'way, after arriving syg & I went to disturb Nad at her workplace while the other two went around looking at phones. Course, Nad was dead surprised to see us. Haha. Then, we all went to Kfc, since the boys hadn't had lunch & were starving. I however, had already eaten at Sunway after gym so I wasn't really hungry, so settled fer a drink instead. While waiting fer them to finish eating I became slightly bored & went to MPH.

After going to Kfc we all went upstairs to go to the snooker area. The main one(near the cinema), where I used to hang out with Chris, Jeremy & the gang after IU Day 2007 was closed down, so we all went to the other one near the karaoke/bowling section. It was quite interesting seeing the guys play, though I didn't really know much about snooker. Swtz. N'way, at 6 Nad dropped by after work, & we chatted on the past things tht happened while she was away. Then around almost 7 we all went home. First Nad was sent home, them it was me. Everyone but me was basically very, very tired, having not slept for a few days, & everyone fell asleep instantly. Except for Wan of course, since he was driving. Wtf. Syg fell asleep within minutes on my shoulder & mind you, he looked darn cute while sleeping. Dang, should have snapped a pic. Ahaha. Lmao.

Oh, bought this new book from Mph, called Sweetheart From Hell. I rmbr Grace talking about it when we were in school, & it seemed quite interesting, so decided to buy it. Almost fucking rm30 wey! & the goverment wants us to "memupuk minat membace," or some crap. Seriously, if the books actually cost less than rm10 or something I swear I would have bought every single book available there, since I love reading. Dumb Malaysian goverment, all full of shit. N'way, in the beginning of the book the main character, Vicky, divorced her husband just b'cuz they were in a plane & her Chanel lipstick rolled down the aisle & her husband refused to pick it up for her. WTF. God, talk about human behavior.

Oh, finally registering fer driving lessons tmrw. So Goddamn ready to get my license, but can't help but think tht during my first driving lesson I'd be sure to langgar some pokok or tiang or summat. Lmfao. Hope not though.

Apart from tht, I'm still cracking my head in how whether I can still get that IPTA form for my application to UiTM. Apparently, I'm too late, & the fact tht I didn't know how fucking important that form was is currently sinking in deeply in me, not to mention raising my panic level. Apart from tht, I'm still not sure what course I want to take up, & this main problem currently making me very, very frustrated & sick. So much for freedom after Spm huh? Life gets even crappier to be exact.

Did some research just now on UiTM & Unisel. In UiTM, there are courses tht may possibly interest me, but the only prob is the applying part, whereas in Unisel, it may be easy to just apply online, but the courses are sorta limited, or so I think. Gah. I really hope I get the right solutions by the time my results come out. Which reminds me, I also hope tht I do well fer my Spm in the first place. & I hoping tht wtvr course I finally decide taking in the future would be available here in Shah Alam, the nearest place to home.

Yes, I do want to move out, but fer now, I don't want anywhere too far. Fer now I prefer somewhere where I am familiar with the surroundings, & most importantly, where I can be close to my family & boyf. Oh, fyi, when I mention 'moving out' at this point, obviously I mean staying at the U's hostel or summat. Obviously I don't have enough cash to buy my own place fer now n'ways.

Messing with my phone.

Messing with my webcam & phone. Lol.

Took this when syg was asleep, so I don't think he knows about it. Haha. Not a good shot though. Note to self: retake some other time.

Oh btw, I just realised tht right-clicking was disabled in my blog. N'way, I just enabled it back, so if you wanna save any pics of yours in my previous posts here go ahead yah. Tht is, if your pics are in my blog. (:

.Sunday, January 04, 2009 @ 10:37 PM Y

Currently Tuning Into: Jason Mraz ft Colbie Caillat - Lucky

They don't know how long it takes
Waiting for a love like this
Everytime we say goodbye
I wish we had one more kiss
I'll wait for you I promise you, I will. (:

Abdul Muhaimin Osman bin Osman! I, Farah Alia bt M. Yusshri, love you so damn fucking much & I will for as long as I live. I swear that I just can't stand life without you! You're currently the hand tht holds my heart, the one that makes my life complete, the happiness tht keeps me enlightened all the time. You're the only one in my seventeen yrs of life that I truly trust, the only one I could ever love this much. I'm definitely yours, & no one elses, no one at all. You fucking own my heart, & no one else is allowed to do so. ILYSDFM SYG! <33

"ermm...asl combong sgt???kawan pon salah ker??entah2 balak awk ngan pompuan lain...jujur la kan???"

So. I'm sick & tired of those bunch of losers who say that I'm stupid to be so loyal to my boyf, when he may be doing other stuff behind my back. Yea, that phrase on top was sent by some dumb ms idiot who supposingly got fed up b'cuz I didn't reply his msgs. Ske ati aku la nak lyn ke x. It's my loss if all tht is true, no one else's, so why care. Course, I trust him, which, fyi, I hate, & I definitely don't appreciate ppl who accuse my boyf of being like tht.

For some weird reason, I find it very, very easy to trust him. Idk why, but when it comes to him I have no doubts at all. Of course, this does worry me a little, for the fact tht if in future he suddenly betrays my trust, it will hurt, not just a little, but a whole damn lot. But, listening to my heart & my head(wtf), I just keep having the feeling tht he will nvr do so. But who knows, guys rite.

Even in the past, with every single person tht I really, really loved, I had trust issues with them. There was always some part of them that I couldn't trust. But with Casper, wow, the exact opposite. It's weird tht I can trust him so easily, but at the same time, it somehow makes me feel weak, & vulnerable.

I can't stand being hurt again, b'cuz all the hurt I've felt before this, drained me emotionally. Now is the only chance that I've had in my whole life, a chance to love a person tht really loves me back, & one tht I fully trust. Any more frustration after this is bound to crush me flat on my face.

. @ 1:29 AM Y

Currently tuning in to: Soluna - For All Time

I just realised. That my 18th b'day this yr is on Friday the 13th. Yea, unlucky. Call me superstitious, but if it wasn't fer the fact tht I've experienced it I wouldn't give a damn.

Yea. I rmbr my 13th b'day well. One goddamn unlucky day fer me. First, my dad decided to forget to wish me happy b'day, & otw back to my hometown in Kota Bahru we all get involved in a car accident. Luckily noone was hurt. Nevertheless, I was slightly traumatized. Then at night, was hoping tht when I arrived everyone would wish me, but what do you know, no one actually knew it was my fucking b'day. Nice relatives, I'd say.

I hope my 18th b'day this yr goes well. I have to say, I'm a little afraid, perhaps. I don't plan on having anything bad happen on tht day. Or to be more exact, I hope to be alive to see tht day.

.Friday, January 02, 2009 @ 7:16 PM Y

Currently tuning into: Delta Goodrem - Lost Without you

How am I ever gonna get rid of these blurs
baby I'm so lonely all the time
everywhere I go I get so confused
your the only thing thats on my mind

On my bed so cold at night
I miss you more each day
only you can make it right
no I'm not too proud to say

All I know is I'm lost without you
I'm not gonna lie
how am I gonna be strong without you
I need you by my side
if we ever say we'd never be together
in the end you wave goodbye
dunno what I'd do
I'm lost without you

I keep trying to find my way
and all I know is I'm lost without you
I keep trying to face the day
I'm lost without you

If I could only hold you now
make the pain just go away
can't stop the tears from running down my face.

I suddenly feel so empty inside.
Is something bad gonna happen?

.Thursday, January 01, 2009 @ 3:46 PM Y

Happy 2009 loves!!

N'way, I stay out until late, & mind you, according to my standards, darn late.
Got back at 3am. Mind you, in the morning! First time ever wey! & its not sneaking out, but with parent's permission. Hoho.

So, went out at 10pm last night, after a bit of slightly heated up talk from my mum fer not informing my dad earlier. Lol. Syg came by with his friend, Anas, & after fetching me we dropped by his hse in Keramat AU to meet up with his friends. Otw there the jam had started, & mind you, it was terrible, especially near the Sunway area. However, managed to get back to KL in less than a hr.

After meeting up with his friends we all went up to some neighbourhood to watch fireworks. Ok, so you'll be thinking "of all places," but trust me, the view was really breathtaking, with fireworks going off in all directions. Then after that, we went to Sunway, to meet up with Nad, but somehow got lost in the jam, causing us to somehow land ourselves in the parking.

So, instead of wasting away the rm3, we decided to hang around in Sunway, until the jam wasn't so bad.


Frh. Amin. Anas.

Soo. We hung out at the Sunway Theme Park entrance, sitting there, looking around. Wtf. Weirdly, there were so many interesting things to see, for example, friends quarreling, drunk ppl, over-excited ppl, ppl fighting & couples arguing. In this case some couple went a bit over the top, screaming, throwing slaps & shoes & stuff. Wtf. In public wey! For fuck's sake, get a life man. I've seen enough of those already. Amin & I were so glad that we were so happy together. Sheesh.

After an hr plus of hangin there we decided to get the car, & go through the jam n'ways, since it was already late, & waiting would have taken forever. While goint through Sunway Anas found a trolley, & the both of them started playing with it, while I became the photographer. Tht is, until some guard asked Amin to parked the trolley. Ngahaha. What a mood spoiler. Seriously la, it's New Years wey, let us have some fun laa. Wtf. Haha.

The madness of us youngsters. Lmao.

N'way, today I got bored, & decided to camwhore with the teddy bear tht my future sis-in-law gave to me. Swt. Yeap, Amin's sis.

As cute as its new owner.

Teddy: You know, sy syg sgt same itu Amin.
Frh: Really honey? I love him toooo. (:


New laptop, new phone, & most importantly, the teddy bear.
The three top fave stuff.


I've decided to call the teddy Amin Junior, cuz it's as cute as Amin & has Amin sweet scent tht's turns me on. Ahahaha.

Love you Amin syggs.


.Farah Alia.
Growing up, lost in her ups & downs, desperately trying to find the real meaning of life. With only 18 yrs of experience in life, its a journey. With memories that can nvr be forgotten.


Family. <33
The best family ever. To mummy & papa; Bringing me into this world, raising me up & protecting me, you're the only ones that I know who would never abandon me. You taught me the importance of loving a family, to take care of others, to value life & live as a good person. Even if once I didn't understand why & thought tht you were a nuisance to me, as I grow older I started to know why, & try my best to appreciate it. Of course, growing up, as Mummy puts it, I nvr know how high the sky is or how deep the ground is, in other words, I don't know my limits, but one thing's fer sure, I'll nvr forget how important family really is. Words of wisdom, I live to the fullest each day. I love you all.

Friends. <33
All sorts. Close, best, good, or just friends. All around, to laugh with, to share with, to be together with. Besties like Nad, supportive when they can be, there to cheer you up when you're down, we need people like that in our lives. I'm grateful to have friends like y'all, to share the fun I experience with. To just talk, or chill, or hangout. A part of your life that is always a must fer everyone. I love y'all. (:


Mell Joy Hilman
Liyana Sharia


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