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.Friday, February 27, 2009 @ 4:10 PM Y

Currently tuning into: Paramore - Conspiracy

A few days back I went to Giant with mummy & adik, to do some grocery shopping. Was hoping to meet Ana, the good friend at work. Well, only to find out tht she quitted work without notice. Hah. She did exactly what I hoped she'll do; leave without any warning. Apparently she didn't show up for work one day, & eventhough En. Azran gave her another chance, she still didn't show up. Serves you right you bastards with the lousy management. Gah. Masih xpuas ati dowh. Sheesh.

N'way, I msged Ana & asked her wht happened. Told me tht they were pushing around, telling her to do stuff, telling her tht she couldn't do this, couldn't do tht. They wern't really pushing her around, but I knew wht she meant anyways. It wasn't a surprise though, I knew very well how the newbies were treated; I learnt tht from my dear ex-manager. I knew for a fact tht the new ones were to be ordered around, En. Azran taught me tht when he told me to order Aisyah & Faezah, when they were new, to clean up the store, & to just supervise them, & not help. Course, I knew better than to treat my workmates like a bunch of servants. Leadership qualities may be good, but you don't have to go as far as treating others as dirt.

Passing by Hinode shop, it was kinda weird to walk by & see everything so quiet. The new girl stood there rigidly, you'd just walk pass her. I mean, when I was there, I was the bubbly, cheerful salesgirl waiting anxiously in front to greet customers, to have a big smile on my face, to loudly say, "Welcome sir/mam! RM5 per item!," or "Selamat datang! RM5 setiap barang!" Eventhough you could basically count the number of customers on both my hands, & no matter how tiring the job was, I did my best to attract customers. It was even fun once Ana came in, you could say, we became the life of the shop. Even mummy said, personality's very important. I did my fair share of work, but of course, I did play around too. Haha. Those old times. Wtf.

N'way, drove home just now, & while I was parking the car I almost crashed into a tree. Mummy panicked so much I felt like laughing. Haha.

I'm finally getting the hang of driving. Oh, & did I tell you, everything's back to normal? Guess Ann's right, I do draw my own conclusions & thoughts a little too fast.

.Wednesday, February 25, 2009 @ 5:10 PM Y

Currently tuning into: Akon - Keep You Much Longer

Day two. & I'm getting restless. I miss him too Goddamn fucking much. The bestie's not giving much help, she's convincing me it's the end & tht I should just move on. It's not tht simple, really. I'm still waiting.

Regretted having my driving lessons today. I was doing so bad Mr. Driving Instructor started yelling at me. What was I to do, my mind was so fucking far away I couldn't focus properly. Eventually after a mental fight with myself I focused & did the best I could. Tackled the slope, parking & 3-point turn parts. Lost focus again on the road though. Having my test on the 10th of March. Not sure if I can really pass it, I just don't feel ready. Not tht I have to worry much really, since I only have to concentrate on the parking, slope, & 3-point turn parts; I'm guaranteed to pass already, fer the on the road section n'ways. Wtvr it is, once I get my license I'm driving all the way to KL every single day. Wtf.

Got back home & felt so sick tht I went up to bed. Woke up & felt like I was gonna cry. Oh, wait. I did cry.

.Tuesday, February 24, 2009 @ 2:40 PM Y

Currently tuning into: Ashlee Simpson - Boyfriend

Stupid driving agency said tht there was no place to slot in fer my driving lessons with my driving instructor but luckily after much complaining they slotted me in fer tmrw to continue my lessons, at 7-10. Gah. Another early day. Pfft.

Just now after coming out of the gym Mummy asked me wht happened to Amin, I seemed to talk lesser of him & didn't seem to be going out with him. Only God knows how I felt then. Told her he was bz with studies when for God's sakes, he's not even studying anymore. Sigh. It's only been a day since I fought with him over basically nothing, but well, it feels like yrs since tht last conversation last night. Gosh I miss him. ):

Oh, Nad changed her plan of going to PD. Switched to going to some river in Rawang or summat. Said she finally found transport. On the other hand, I don't feel like going anymore. In fact, I'm looking forward to nothing really. I feel so depressed these few days it's not even funny anymore. Idk if its this low-carb diet I'm on, cuz apparently after reading some mag, lack of carbs can cause mood irritation. But then again, who would care about their mood when all you wanna do is lose weight.

I'm aiming for change, & nothing's gonna stop me at this point.

.Monday, February 23, 2009 @ 11:40 PM Y

Currently tuning into: Kelly Clarkson - My Life Would Suck Without You

Just a few days of no carbohydrates (okay, less carbo to be exact wtf) & I have a flatter tummy. *pats self for being so disiplined wtf*

N'way, been doing a lot of thinking lately, & this pop-up window came out in my head:

Fourth month = trouble.

A fact suddenly occured to me, tht I was in my fourth month of my relationship with Amin, & based on past experiences I always have problems in my fourth month & end up breaking up. Gosh, I really hope tht doesn't happen, as I don't think I could ever live without him now. Everytime I imagine myself in future without him, it's just so..empty somehow.

As quoted from my conversation with Nad via sms just now:

Frh : Ntahla. Die satu satunye org yg aku xsanggup kehilangan wey. Serious aku xtau aku kan camne klu die xde. Ntahla la aku. Wait & see I guess.

Nad : Relax2..Klu k0 da tau cam2, k0 kne get ready..Tk0t2 law tyme 2 dtg, k0 jd down..

Down huh? I'll be beyond tht.

Oh, chatted with RJ just now. God it's been ages since I last spoken to her. Told each other about our lifes, & apparently she has a boyf now, Malaysian. Said if everything goes well with him she'll come to Malaysia. Yeay! Boy I hope it happens. I miss her so mucho.


.Saturday, February 21, 2009 @ 1:12 PM Y

Currently tuning into: Emilia - Big Big World

So. I'm finally done with work. Somehow I'll be missing those moments fooling around with Ana & Aisyah while greeting customers. Especially Ana, I'd grown so close to her ever since she started work this week. I'll also be missing those times serving customers, introducing the Friendly Card & wrapping gifts & stuff. Gah. Stupid management. If only the management was better & I had more time with loved ones even while working, I wouldn't have hesitate to continue working. But guess tht's the way isn't it. Between work & loved ones I'd go fer loved ones anytime. Sayonara Hinode! Well, at least fer now. Tht is, unless the manager does call me in in future to work part time to help them cover up lack of manpower.

N'way, since Ana finished work at 9 last night, we shook hands & hugged, hoping to hang out with each other in future. Aisyah however, was slightly reluctant in me going & kept asking if I was really sure tht I wanted to go. I swore I could almost see her crying before we hugged & left. Haha. Funny how work can bring a few girls so close together. Nevertheless, I'll miss them a lot, & even if they don't call me in once in a while to work part time, I'd still be there to see them.

Yesterday however, some dude from the HQ department decided to make a trip to our shop. Found out he was actually Mr.Vira, the bastard who was always finding fault with me over the phone. True enough, he tried to find fault with all of us, but decided to play it cool with me, knowing the fact tht he could nvr cross my border without me snapping back at him. Yes, Frh Alia may look good enough but fyi my mouth can be vicious too to fight back. N'way, he tried to find the slightest mistakes in wtvr I was doing, from why I was eating in the storeroom to why I was wearing a T-shirt instead of blouse. Well, firstly, if I can't eat in the storeroom, where else am I supposed to eat, on his head? & last time when they all fucking tied me down to the shop just b'cuz I was the only cashier working they didn't seem to have a problem asking me to eat in the storeroom. Secondly, I've been wearing T-shirts ever since I first worked here. Yes, I do wear blouses too, but only occasionally, as wearing a T-shirt made it easier to move around, especially if I was working in the morning, when there was a lot of work to do. Dahlah hipokrit gle. As quoted from yesterday's convo:

Mummy: So Mr. Vira, heard my daughter's been a bad girl.
Mr. Vira: Oh, of course not. She's a very good girl. Speaks very well. *gives stupid grin at me*

Urgh. Xyah nak puji2 aku la kimak. Dah benci trus terang jela fucker.
He even asked my mum to join the company. Hah. My mum would be a better manager than all of you put together you idiots.

Then my 'good old manager' really pissed me off when he cut me off on completely everything, phone calls, being cashier, treating me like new staff, just b'cuz it was my last day. Pergh, xmengenang budi lgsg. After training me on my 2nd day at work & realising how 'hardworking' he had no problem at all asking me to look after the shop, holding the key, putting me on OT mode, making me work full-time, getting me to cover for his stupid mistakes (which fyi, I'm not so fucking stupid to do,) & yet after all tht dump me like I did nothing at all fer his stupid shop. Last night his last words to me over the phone was "Good luck, all the best," Don't worry faggot, I'd have better luck than you in future, you jackass.

Yesterday there was this mini stall in front of our shop selling some face cream called Snow Ayu or Ayu White or some Snow White crap wtf. Then Ana & I spent the whole day joking around with him, after being conned into thinking he just finished his Spm too, when he was actually 23. Pfft. N'way, he looked awfully a lot like, uh, Yon. Of all ppl. Sheesh. N'way, he's staying in Ampang, & I was starting to wonder if he knew syg, since he told me tht he hung out in one of the places syg hung out too.

Oh btw, Farah Alia officially on an anti-carbo diet! Lmao. It started with the fact tht I had gained a lot of weight since I started working & Nad who wanted to have a one day vacation with 2 of her guyfriends & syg & I, at PD. So, yea, diet it is.

.Friday, February 20, 2009 @ 12:06 AM Y

Currently tuning into: Amanda Perez - Angel

20th February 2009 = 4months with sygs.

Give it another 2 months & if we're still together I'm officially declaring him as my future husband. Wtfff. However, I'm glad, & I mean real glad. & I'm really hoping tht in 4yrs time I'd be able to say 'Happy 4th yr anniversary' to him. It's still a long time, but it doesn't hurt to hope does it?

Happy 4th month syg. love you oh so fucking much.

.Thursday, February 19, 2009 @ 4:13 PM Y

Currently tuning into: Muse - Plug In Baby

After getting to know this girl who's personality's somehow similar to mine, apart frm the fact tht she goes clubbing at least a few times a week & smokes, though she denys it, it suddenly occured to me tht if it wasn't fer my boyf I'd be like tht too. Hmm.

N'way, this morning I had my 2nd driving lesson & everything went well. Instructor allowed me to drive home, since anyway, I was on the road around Putra Heights already. Course, in the last half hr of the lesson I was starting to get bored & distracted, causing me too get a little messed up. Guess tht going at 40km per hr just wasn't enough fer me. Wtff. N'way, instructor said there was a lot of improvement in driving & steering wheel control, & tht made me happy. Got back at 9-ish & dropped dead on my bed, having left syg on the phone until eventually my credit ran out. T_T

Tmrw's last day of work. Woohoo! Fer some reason, I'm slightly reluctant to leave now. & I mean just slightly. Guess it mainly b'cuz of the fact tht I was always like the boss there, below the manager of course (WTF) & letting tht sneaky bitch be head after I left bothered me a little. Apart from tht I was getting quite friendly with the new girl there, Raihana, known as Ana. Guess there was quite a lot of similarities in our personalities. Nevertheless, I'll still be working there once in a while, tht is, if the manager does ever contact me after I officially resign. Pfft.

.Sunday, February 15, 2009 @ 8:18 PM Y

Currently tuning into: Lily Allen - Absoulutely Nothing

Farah Alia bt M. Yusshri,
Staff of Giant Putra Heights, Subang.


ATT: Mr Vira/Mr Azran,
HR managers, ATS worldwide.


RE:Resignation Letter

Relating to the above, I, Farah Alia bt M. Yusshri am giving one weeks notice on my resignation. I shall be working as usual according to the duty roster given, until Friday, the 20th of February 2009.

As last words I'd would like to thank the management for hiring me to work here throughout this month & a half.

Yours truly,


So. Finally gave in my resignation letter. Settled, finally. The manager, Mr. Azran was sorta reluctant to let me off. Asked me if I could delay my last day till end of the month but I firmly said no. Yet, I agreed to work part-time in future if he needed me to cover up for any of his staff tht were off. Lucky fer him he found someone for my replacement today.

N'way, after work practiced driving again, this time with mummy, which was a bad idea. Go wrong just a little bit & she panicked, screaming at me to stop. Her panicking obviously made me panic even more, causing me to accidently hit the accelerator instead of the brakes. Sheesh. Nasib baik xlanggar divider dowh.

.Saturday, February 14, 2009 @ 11:09 PM Y

Currently tuning into: Estrella - Foolish Senses

I tried so fucking hard to forget tht today was fucking Valentine's day yet those fucking customers just had to come to my fucking shop to fucking buy Valentine's presents & make me fucking wrap & pack them. God you fucking faggots. Things just got worse when this dude came & bought 2 teddy bears & a necklace & earring set & a Valentine's card & heart-shaped thingy written 'I love you' for his gf. For fuck's sake I swear I wanted to cry out in hysteria & fucking kill all the stupid couples tht existed. Yea, you're hearing this from a girl who's already got a boyf-cum-husband yet yours truly here had to fucking spent her fucking V-day preparing others sweet V-day crap while her boyf was out in Genting spending V-day with his friends at the very least.

From now onwards I'm officially listing 14th February 2009 as the worst day in my life & due to tht I shall hate V-day for the rest of my fucking life.

Meanwhile, I drove home with my uncle's guidance again, this time in his Waja. Driving an auto is so much easier, but I still have trouble controlling the steering.


.Friday, February 13, 2009 @ 11:43 PM Y

Currently tuning into: Paramore - Emergency

Finally. Gave my manager notice tht I'll be quitting my job in a week's time. Gosh, it's time I ended this dilemma to my life. B'cuz of this stupid job so many things changed, more bad than good you would say. Migrains, tiredness, constant unnecessary fights with my boyf, wht else wey. Gah. I'm already very tired & sick of all this, & I can't wait for nx Friday, like seriously.

N'way, today worked full again. Was better than the other day where I worked full time. Guess it was b'cuz I had enough rest yesterday to carry on. Was quite hyper actually, tht is, until I had some guilt case with syg on not being able to follow him to Genting with his friends for Valentines. Seriously, as if I'd rather work than go to Genting with syg. Pfft-ness. Again, b'cuz of work. God my job's cursed. Well, on the bright side, I drove back home with guidance from my uncle, having the engine die out on me several times; even worse than my 1st driving lesson yesterday. x_x

Oh, last night went to watch Pink Panther 2 with syg. First time going to the cinema with him.
The night was amazing.

.Wednesday, February 11, 2009 @ 7:34 PM Y

Currently tuning into: Rihanna ft Ne-Yo - Hate That I Love You

Urgh. Work currently driving me crazy. No life, getting scolded for no reason, migrains, aching feet, wht else wey?!

I just can't wait to resign nx week.

.Tuesday, February 03, 2009 @ 10:12 AM Y

Currently tuning into: Paramore - Hello Hello

Monday, 2nd February.
A looong day fer me. Was working morning shift, so at 9am got to work & opened the shop. Then, well, it was basically just another long day fer me, greeting ppl, being the cashier & stuff like tht. Two weeks into the job, & its definitely getting boring, & I mean, wayyyy boring. Even now, since I have to work on weekends, I somehow lose track of wht day it really is. Pfft.

Then at around 8.30pm, after work, Amin came to fetch me back to his hse. Planned to go out with his sis, Intan, & her boyf, who came all the way from London. Arrived at his hse at 9-ish, almost 10. Met with his dad for the first time. His dad was a jolly person, welcoming me with open arms. Seeing his complete family, its nice to know such a pleasant family.

N'way, at 10-ish went to Ampang to play bowling with syg, his sis Intan, her boyf, & syg's bro, where we had a fun time laughing at each other & fooling around. Before tht though, we had a slight problem where syg's car keys got locked in the car. Wtf. After endless calls to basically everyone, curtesy of my credit fyi (thx wtf), in the end his eldest brother came & sent the spare keys, fortunately for us. After an hr of playing we all dropped by Taman Melawati to fetch one of his friends, also called Amin. Lol.

Then we went to some place called Danau Kota, where there was this huge night market. N'way, while syg hung out with his friends the other 3 of us went around the market, where Intan & I were holding hands & getting excited looking at cute stuff. Lmao. After the mini tour we went to one of their hangout spots to have supper. Got back home at 3am.

3rd February.
Today was a slightly challenging day fer me. Had to travel via KTM to KL Sentral, all by myself. So you'd be thinking, what's the big deal, but here's the thing, I've nvr actually been on a train in Malaysia, & to add to tht, I had nvr set foot in KL Sentral. So yea, it was scary for me to just suddenly hop onto a train by myself without any guidance.

N'way, for a bad start I got myself on the wrong train. Gah. Fortunately after a few stops I realised & switched tracks. Unfortunately fer me however otw to KL Sentral, some black Frenchman just had to have some stupid interest in me, causing me to have a very uncomfortable journey ahead. Seriously, having some stranger sit nx to you & start going "you're so beautiful, & I like u, maybe we should have lunch together sometime," would have amused me like maybe last yr, but now, all tht's kinda dumb, especially now when I already have someone uber amazing. I mean, which idiot actually goes up to some random person & says "I hope we have a good relationship, I would take good care of you,". & why me? Did all the pretty girls die or summat? Wtfff. N'way, seeing syg at the entrance after those few hours of terror was just a huge relief for me, I could have just dropped down on the floor & start crying. Pfft.

N'way, after tht went to Alamanda, Putrajaya. I was so tired I just dropped dead in the car, till we arrived. Alamanda was quite a nice shopping mall. There we separated, Intan went with Khalid & I walked around with syg. Dropped by at MPH to take a look at some books. Since the books were too expensive for yours truly as we left we had nothing but this:

Your new MPH promoter yaww. Ahahaha.
Reminds me of a pic Nad snapped of her friend where her friend copied the pose of some poster. Lmao.

After meeting up again with Intan & Khalid we all went bowling. Unfortunately after so many times of trying to avoid playing bowling I ended up having to play, & did terribly, mind you. Well, guess tht after 3 times in my life of trying my whole darn best to avoid playing, the 4th time didn't work out anymore. Dang. Lmao N'way, conclusion made, bowling's not my thing, full stop. Guess I'm not all tht sporty person, except perhaps in swimming. No wonder mummy always says being left-handed's a handicap. T_T

At around 8-ish dropped by the Putrajaya Mosque, & camwhored near the fountain located near the entrance. & as results:

A few of the loads of pics we actually took.

After tht, had dinner in Bangi, & finally, 'lepaked' at my hse. Haha. Mummy was quite happy meeting Intan & Khalid, since she was so over-excited in reminiscing her days in London. So syg & I left her bz entertaining them while we busied ourselves going online & eating oranges. Lol. However after an hr of hanging in my hse Papa finally came home, & started his infamous ways of making everyone uncomfortable, by talking like he was someone very high-classed & being slightly rude & racist towards Khalid, just b'cuz he was frm Pakistan. Thx to him, everyone decided to leave, while basically mummy & my fun moments there ended on the spot.

Mummy got pissed, but as quoted from her; "I know your Papa well, & I don't give a fuck n'more of how he wants to be," Well, my dad has the knack of looking down low on others. I would thank God, honestly, tht I did not inherit tht terrible attitude, & followed my mum. Yes, I definitely do not judge others based on how they dress up or wht background they're frm or what colour they are, as in other words, I'd nvr judge a book by its cover.

So then mum started talking about her old days, where she & her sis always hated his nagging went they were renting rooms under the same roof & did all kinds of stuff to him, like adding water to his orange juice after drinking some & hiding his slippers. Haha. Gosh, nvr knew mummy was somehow like syg. Lmao. Funny how all those stuff happened & yet they ended up being married & having yours truly wtf.

A young man concentrating hard on studies & nothing else & a more or less wild young gal whos a 'kaki flirt' & disco queen. Gosh. Guess it's true when they say opposites attract.


.Farah Alia.
Growing up, lost in her ups & downs, desperately trying to find the real meaning of life. With only 18 yrs of experience in life, its a journey. With memories that can nvr be forgotten.


Family. <33
The best family ever. To mummy & papa; Bringing me into this world, raising me up & protecting me, you're the only ones that I know who would never abandon me. You taught me the importance of loving a family, to take care of others, to value life & live as a good person. Even if once I didn't understand why & thought tht you were a nuisance to me, as I grow older I started to know why, & try my best to appreciate it. Of course, growing up, as Mummy puts it, I nvr know how high the sky is or how deep the ground is, in other words, I don't know my limits, but one thing's fer sure, I'll nvr forget how important family really is. Words of wisdom, I live to the fullest each day. I love you all.

Friends. <33
All sorts. Close, best, good, or just friends. All around, to laugh with, to share with, to be together with. Besties like Nad, supportive when they can be, there to cheer you up when you're down, we need people like that in our lives. I'm grateful to have friends like y'all, to share the fun I experience with. To just talk, or chill, or hangout. A part of your life that is always a must fer everyone. I love y'all. (:


Mell Joy Hilman
Liyana Sharia


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