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.Tuesday, September 08, 2009 @ 10:39 PM Y

Currently tuning into: D'Masiv - Cinta Ini Membunuhku

Kau hancurkan aku dengan sikap mu,
tak sadarkah kau telah menyakiti ku.
Lelah hati ini meyakinkan mu,
cinta ini, membunuhku.

So. Girls are adding me in myspace just b'cuz their boyfs are going gaga over me. Hah, girls, go control your boyfs, don't come adding me just so you can read my fucking cmnts or something. I try staying away from idiots who already have girlfs, but if you can't help your hubbys then obviously I can't too. Haha. Bodo ah. Tu la, cpl la lg, dpt pe akhirnye? Sakit ati, pning kpale, segale bende ade. Tiap2 ari tido xlene. Tiap2 saat ade je nak kene fkir, nak kene risaukan. For people like me anyways. Do good & all you get back is pain. Who ever said it would do you good to be good?

N'way, if you readers even realised, ever since I became single again I started posting lyrics before I start each post. Wondered why? Fer one, it's the lyrics of the song that I'm currently tuning to, & the lyrics also happen to relate to my feelings & emotions. So yea, who ever said they were just lyrics? Read through them again, klu rajin, & relate it to anything that happened in my life. N'way, since there's not much to post, here's my current fave.

It's about a girl who found out her boyf had another girl behind her back. Then she lets out her frustration on him, who doesn't understand anything, until he sees photos of him with another girl. Then he gets frustrated with himself & starts breaking glass. LOL. In the end the girl commited suicide by drowning herself.

The vid reminds me a lot of what I went through before. In the vid, where the girl crys her heart out; I was there, in her shoes, several times. Of course, I would nvr forget that night where I found out my worst fear had happened. Mummy saw me crying & screaming & tried to set things straight, I'm sure she won't forget. I've nvr cried in front of her, so jgn ckp nangis camtu la kan. Didn't commit suicide, obviously. Crying & not eating fer a couple of days & a few cuts on my wrist, I obviously won't die.

Flashbacks. Who would forget their painful moments really.

These two videos, made me cry. Agnes Monica has the best voice evurrr.

Meanwhile, just got off the phone with Hafiz. Started crying yet again. This is the second time in this short period of time. Pfft. Still waiting. Fer what, heck knows. Bodo gak kan aku ni. Bgos la. I keep on wondering when all of this will finally end. Or start back, in a good way. Lord help me. My soul feels tortured.

Tertutup sudah pintu, pintu hati ku,
yang pernah dibuka waktu hanya untuk mu.
Kini kau pergi dari hidup ku,
ku harus relakan mu,
walau aku tak mau.

Dengarlah matahari ku, suara tangisan ku,
ku bersedih,
kar’na panah cinta menusuk jantung ku.
Ucapkan matahari ku,
puisi tentang hidup ku, tentang ku,
yang tak mampu, menaklukkan waktu.


.Farah Alia.
Growing up, lost in her ups & downs, desperately trying to find the real meaning of life. With only 18 yrs of experience in life, its a journey. With memories that can nvr be forgotten.


Family. <33
The best family ever. To mummy & papa; Bringing me into this world, raising me up & protecting me, you're the only ones that I know who would never abandon me. You taught me the importance of loving a family, to take care of others, to value life & live as a good person. Even if once I didn't understand why & thought tht you were a nuisance to me, as I grow older I started to know why, & try my best to appreciate it. Of course, growing up, as Mummy puts it, I nvr know how high the sky is or how deep the ground is, in other words, I don't know my limits, but one thing's fer sure, I'll nvr forget how important family really is. Words of wisdom, I live to the fullest each day. I love you all.

Friends. <33
All sorts. Close, best, good, or just friends. All around, to laugh with, to share with, to be together with. Besties like Nad, supportive when they can be, there to cheer you up when you're down, we need people like that in our lives. I'm grateful to have friends like y'all, to share the fun I experience with. To just talk, or chill, or hangout. A part of your life that is always a must fer everyone. I love y'all. (:


Mell Joy Hilman
Liyana Sharia


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