.Friday, August 07, 2009 @ 9:15 AM Y
.silence.
Oh, didn't mention in my previous post, that it's officially been a month since I became single? On the 7th. Lucky number? Well, fer me its just unlucky isn't it.
Every 7th of these past 4 months I've been experiencing bad events. 7th May, I almost broke up with my boyf over some other girlf he had. 7th June, well, nothing happened I think, but we were on the rocks anyway. 7th July, we broke up. & 7th August, he texts me & says that he doesn't love me much anymore.
Funny to hear it from him after all these months, especially when I had already felt so the moment I found out about Sheeya 4 months ago. His words hurt me a whole darn lot, but it's life I guess, people change, so there's nothing I can do, but to live with it. As long he's happy, I'll be fine soon enough. All I can hope now is that whichever girl that he seems to 'still love', according to his Myspace status, will love him & look after him as much as I did & still do. Because fer once, I'm 100% sure that that girl is not me.
Meanwhile, last night two guys majok with me. Wtf. I did my very first public webcam marathon HAHA wtf. Before this I only viewed my webcam with Amin. Was viewing webcam with Phat, where he was forcing me to smile. Lol. & since I was so darn bored I just placed my 'view my webcam' link in my status so that anyone can request to view it at any time. Menyesal kot. Almost 10 people requested to view my webcam, which included Amin. Naturally, I always on it fer him, but basically he was one of the few that did get to view.
N'way, there came this part where I actually forgot that my webcam was on, then Amin suddenly called. I had forgotten that he was actually viewing my webcam, since we weren't chatting, until he started teasing me about me making faces. Pfft. Then while being on the phone, well, naturally everyone who viewed my webcam could see what was going on, & that included Phat.
While I was so bz on the phone, & didn't reply his Ims, he suddenly majok & said that he didn't want to disturb me, & went offline, when basically, we were busy making faces before that. Swt. So, uh, xpe la kan, biar la dlu. So I continued talking on the phone with Amin, & when it ended I texted Phat to pjok him. Lololol.
After that was Amin's turn to supposingly majok. Haha. While I was busy online doing my own stuff Phat suddenly called, so pe lg, lyn je la kan. Started complaining to him about some stupid perverted idiot who wanted to view my webcam. Once again I forgot that my webcam was on, until Amin started miss calling me while I was on the phone. Haha wtf.
Phat. Last night he told me he loved me. We have nothing going on btw. I didn't know what to say, or how to react, because, I don't love him. I don't even know him well, stkat sblan main chatting kan. I don't want to love anyone else. Yea, he can see me as the 'good' girlf who doesn't cheat & stuff all right, but that was only because I love Amin, that's why I wouldn't do such things. If I was with someone for the sake of just having a boyf, well, give me 2 months or so & I'll be worse than Amin, the guys I'd have will be uncountable. Tgk kes dlu ngan Is & Zudy pun dah ley tau kot, kan Bell? HOHO.
I still find it ridiculous, how I do almost nothing, how I just be my boring self, & the next thing you know this guy's saying I love you. I've never replied him back, because I know, that I don't love him, & the phrase 'I Love You' that comes out from my mouth is only meant fer that one person.
Oh, before I forget. Planned on going back to London after my Foundation year, fer a short vacation. Wanna try & score well in my exams, hopefully I can get good results & continue my studies & life there in London. Everybody in my family agrees with me, & supports the idea. Besides, I can get discounts if I study there. I might as well give it a shot right? I hope it'll come true, it'll be nice to start a whole new life in a whole different place. Not any place, but my very own hometown.
Flames to dust,
Lovers to friends,
Why do all good things come to an end?
