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.Thursday, August 20, 2009 @ 10:36 PM Y

Currently tuning into: Vanessa Hudgens - Say Ok

I don't wanna be into you,
If you are not looking for true love,
No I don't wanna start seeing you,
If I can't be your only one,
So tell me.

When it's not alright,
When it's not ok,
Will you try to make me feel better?
Will you say alright?
Will you say ok? Will you stick with me through whatever?
Or run away?
Say Ok.

Wednesday, 19th August 2009.

To start off my Wednesday, Hafiz called me, at around 2. Then gayut until 3 sumthing. Then here comes the best part. At around 4 summat Phat called. Well, he called, I answered, but basically I didn't know it was him. I was so sleepy that I barely heard what he was saying, until I started saying things like "Rindu? Bkn td u br call ker? Gayut lame gle lak tuh," did I realise something was wrong, by the way he was reacting. Well, basically, what really happened was that Phat called me, but somehow (don't ask me how) I answered the phone, while I was still sleeping. Wtf. & was actually sleeptalking to him, thinking that he was Hafiz, & that I was still gayut-ing with him. Another WTF. Xkantoi lak aku kan. Imagine the horror I had once I re-checked my phone & saw Phat's pic there. Pfft.

So, today had my English exams, at 5.15 pm. Classes finished at 1, so instead of hanging around Jian, Prajiv, & I went to Sunway, in my car. Went to eat Mcd, & jln2. Jo-lyn joined us after a while, since she had piano exams before that.

Random pic from last night. Lol.

Minutes before Jian, Prajiv & I signed our attendance & chaw. Haha.

Just randoms.

Observe my pics. See why I wanna lose weight so desperately at the moment? My depression mode took a turnover & decided to act terbalik-ly. Ever since I broke up with Amin I started turning to food for comfort. & with very limited time going to the gym, well, yea. The worst part is that I'll start eating alot, & suddenly feel guilty, yet want to eat more fer comfort. That's why I'm glad Puasa month's finally here. I currently have this very unhealthy habit of eating a lot in one day, & very little the next, & so on. Being depressed sucks, hardcore. I'd rather be depressed like how I was last time, when I found out about Sheeya. I didn't eat fer a week & did workout like mad. Pfft.

Meanwhile, again I got hit on by some foreigner. I was walking alone, while the others were at the food court studying, then this Hispanic dude did this U-turn in the mall just to come up & say hi to me. Wtf weh. N'way, he's from California, & he asked me out fer a drink. Ley je. Lg 100 tahun kot. Jgn nak menghrp la kan. I still get puzzled to why these sort of people always get attracted to me. & before that, while we were eating lunch some African or sumthing dudee spotted me & start smiling at me. Then last time, there was that case where I was on the KTM, to go KL Central to see syg, where some dude hit on me again. & yet another case where I was in Sunway watching ppl skating, where this dude suddenly came up to me & asked me if I was from Taylors. Wtf wtf wtf. Wait, there's more, but nvm. Sheesh.

N'way, went back before exams started. English exam was from 5.15-6.45, but I finished within 15 minutes, & still had the time to sleep. Wtf. By the time all my classmates came out it was almost 6.15, & everyone who drove was reluctant to go home, due to the heavy traffic. So, all of us, almost the whole class drove to some place in PJ to makan. Haha. Went back at around 8. Fetched Shing Yee, Nick & Chor Yuen back home, then went back home myself.

Got back home at around 9. Skali mummy asked me to get ready, got some kenduri at Pak Su's hse, whoever tht is. Wtf. Papa was already home. I was like wtf, cuz I got home like barely 5 minutes & had to go out again. Xpnat gle2 lak aku kan, sehari full kuar. Otw we got lost, & it was late, so papa patah balik. Mummy was furious at papa for telling her last minute to get ready. Haha. Meanwhile, I was so tired, I fell asleep in the car, wearing a bju kurung & tudung. Pfft.

Thursday, 20th August 2009.

Not much today. Skipped half of Accs lecture to go lepak with Nad & the gang at Sunway. Hoho. Oh, 1st sem's gonna be over soon. & second sem starts on the 19th of October. If I was still with Amin, I would sue UTAR man. U make me come for classes on my 1st yr anniversary?!! Xbengang lak aku kan nnt. Sheesh.

Talking of anniversaries. Today would have been my 10th month anniversary with Amin. Started tearing up while listening to Hinder's Without You in the car, otw to uni. Tgh drive sempat lg aku nak nangis kan. Pfft. Then suddenly during lunchtime he texted me & wished me happy anniversary. Xrase plik lak aku. Prajiv happened to be there while I was reading the text & he was like "Haaa, why is Farah smiling to herself hah?Who text laa?" Lolololol. Basically I was standing there in the middle of the canteen holding my phone & smiling like some psycho. Hahaha.

Think your relationship's confusing? Check out mine. I broke up with my boyf on the 7th of July, yet we still wish each other on our anniversaries, on the 20th. Which at times makes me wonder if I actually dreamt out tht part about us breaking up. Bottom line, almost all the things we do, makes us look as if we're still together. & I said Saleh & Nad were weird last time. Haa, xkene blik lak aku kan. T__T

The three dudes playing Rambo,at the game arcade.

Being at the game arcade made me smile. I was there on my first date with Amin, together with Nad & Mawi. They were playing House Of The Dead & Time Crisis, & there was no place fer me to sit, so Amin asked me to lean against him. Couldn't help smiling really, I had so much fun then. But it was killing me inside to see Saleh & Nad getting all lovey dovey in front of me, not to forget the billion of other couples all around me. Pfft.

Tht's life I suppose.

& of all the boys your voice is still the one I love to hear everytime I wake up.


.Farah Alia.
Growing up, lost in her ups & downs, desperately trying to find the real meaning of life. With only 18 yrs of experience in life, its a journey. With memories that can nvr be forgotten.


Family. <33
The best family ever. To mummy & papa; Bringing me into this world, raising me up & protecting me, you're the only ones that I know who would never abandon me. You taught me the importance of loving a family, to take care of others, to value life & live as a good person. Even if once I didn't understand why & thought tht you were a nuisance to me, as I grow older I started to know why, & try my best to appreciate it. Of course, growing up, as Mummy puts it, I nvr know how high the sky is or how deep the ground is, in other words, I don't know my limits, but one thing's fer sure, I'll nvr forget how important family really is. Words of wisdom, I live to the fullest each day. I love you all.

Friends. <33
All sorts. Close, best, good, or just friends. All around, to laugh with, to share with, to be together with. Besties like Nad, supportive when they can be, there to cheer you up when you're down, we need people like that in our lives. I'm grateful to have friends like y'all, to share the fun I experience with. To just talk, or chill, or hangout. A part of your life that is always a must fer everyone. I love y'all. (:


Mell Joy Hilman
Liyana Sharia


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