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.Saturday, August 29, 2009 @ 11:35 PM Y

Currently tuning into: Steps - After The Love Has Gone

When love is gone it's only wrong to try again,
I know it's a shame,
That we may not have tomorrow,
But there's always yesterday.

After the love has gone,
Only fools carry on,
We've been hurting for so long,
And we both know that it's wrong,
After the love has gone,
Then we just don't belong,
We both know that it's wrong,
After the love has gone.

& after today, I'm sure that his love for me is no longer there. & that he has someone new. I feel it, & fer once, I know it's true. His actions, & the way we are together, everything just, seemed to have slipped away. He loves someone else. Too late I suppose, there's nothing left to do.

Since he's moved on, maybe it's time for me to back off. I don't want to be known as some bitch who trying to steal someone else's boyf. & I'm not saying it in a sarcastic way; but in a genuine way. He asked me why it was so hard to just act like we're friends. No, it's not b'cuz I'm immature like you think, but it's the fact that after all we went through, it's not that easy to come along as 'just friends'. However, I pray every single day for his happiness, so I guess here it is. I'll be fine, I know I will, somehow. Watching him sleeping on the sofa, it's amazing how much, how long I've loved him. Dreaming about him every night, thinking back on everything we've been through since the 20th of October 2008, those are the main reasons I smile at random times.

p.s, I do bitch alot here in my blog, when I can't even tell u face to face. You should have understood that part way earlier; for the fact that I get so darn emotional that I don't even know what I should say to you. So don't blame me, but try to understand me. B'cuz I'm sure you know me well.

Meanwhile, I'll never forget the look on Umi's face when she saw Amin & I. Her joy in seeing us was more than enough to penetrate the hardest surfaces. I really enjoyed breaking fast at Amin's house today. It was like having my own elder brothers & sister, which is saying something since I'm the eldest in my family. I love them all; they've been like my second family since I met them. Although, can't be too comfortable though, since I don't belong there.

Oh, & to Hafiz. I guess you're right about that rotten apple msg. Haha. Let's put it this way, I'm a good apple that's slightly rotten, just like everyone. I mean, it's true kan? No one's all good or all bad. Oh ohh, & I dah bace blog you kat myspace tu. Awwwww-ness. How sweet of you. Haha. I appreciate semue yg u tulis kat situ, seriously. & here's what I have to say to you.

I owe you almost everything Hafiz. Sblum ni, I mmg rase lonely gle2 sjak break ngan bf I, walaupun byk lg yg try nak ngorat I(haha wtf). But since dpt knl you, gayut phone tiap2 mlm, msg 24/7, sumpah I ckp, the loneliness I have has definitely lessened. I wouldn't say fully, but yea, if you get what I mean. I still do feel lonely at times, but that's not b'cuz of you. Then msg yg u hntr dlu kat ms. Sumpah terharu gle wey! Haha. No one's actually said stuff like that to me before, so its kinda sweet.

However, I do hope you understand my situation now. I'm definitely in no state to find someone new right now, & anywhere in the near future. Not when my heart was taken away by someone else. Fham2 je la kan, my first love. I may love him only, but no one owns me right now. Please don't get moody or depressed b'cuz of this, I xske tgk you camtu. Kkdg I frust gak tgk you jd moody & sakit ati psl I, cuz I xnak wat you camtu. I like the happy-go-lucky you, really. Don't worry, b'cuz no matter who I love, I'll nvr leave you, not when you are currently the closest friend I have. (:

Oh Bell. Terpakse la aku curang ngan ko kan. Since aku dah ade Hafiz sbgai kwn baik aku HAHAHA. Jgn jeles baby. ;P

P.s, less blogging fer a while after this. I need to sort myself out. He's right somehow, maybe I do need to change too. & I no longer want to be the Farah everyone knows.


.Farah Alia.
Growing up, lost in her ups & downs, desperately trying to find the real meaning of life. With only 18 yrs of experience in life, its a journey. With memories that can nvr be forgotten.


Family. <33
The best family ever. To mummy & papa; Bringing me into this world, raising me up & protecting me, you're the only ones that I know who would never abandon me. You taught me the importance of loving a family, to take care of others, to value life & live as a good person. Even if once I didn't understand why & thought tht you were a nuisance to me, as I grow older I started to know why, & try my best to appreciate it. Of course, growing up, as Mummy puts it, I nvr know how high the sky is or how deep the ground is, in other words, I don't know my limits, but one thing's fer sure, I'll nvr forget how important family really is. Words of wisdom, I live to the fullest each day. I love you all.

Friends. <33
All sorts. Close, best, good, or just friends. All around, to laugh with, to share with, to be together with. Besties like Nad, supportive when they can be, there to cheer you up when you're down, we need people like that in our lives. I'm grateful to have friends like y'all, to share the fun I experience with. To just talk, or chill, or hangout. A part of your life that is always a must fer everyone. I love y'all. (:


Mell Joy Hilman
Liyana Sharia


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