Currently tuning into: Eyes Set To Kill - The World Outside

If you look twice,
The second time you might fail to recognize,
Look through my eyes,
Maybe a part of the old me is left inside.

Now hear my cry, there's no words beneath,
There's no in between, there's no alibi to make this right,
No behind the scenes, everything you sees what you get,

Don't fight the world outside,
It's changing me, changing me,
To whom i'm afraid of,
I can't confide in anything,
The crowd will not rest tonight.



I hate being in the wrong place at the wrong time.
I hate doing the wrong things at the wrong time.
I hate finding what I find, seeing what I see, hearing what I hear, all at the wrong times.

I hate the fact that I can't move back in time.
I hate the fact that this current reality of mine is somewhat so harsh.
I hate the fact that I can't move forward, not when the past is still holding tightly onto me.

I hate this pleading loneliness suffocating me.
I hate this deadly confusion threatening to put me out of my mind.
I hate this desperate urge to just scream out loud & cry.
I hate this insecurity that is driving me insane.

Bottom line, I hate the fact that I, of all people, had to go through all this shit. Why do I have to got through this stupid emotional pain? Why is it that everytime I finally reach a tiny point of happiness I end up falling all the way down again? I don't understand, none of it. Everything just doesn't make any sense.

I just can't get myself to cheat on him. It was torture enough today, almost having my heart jump out of my chest everytime he held my phone, in fears that he'll go through my text msgs & find, well, find what I found in his phone. If it's even called cheating, we've already declared ourselves single, how the fuck can that be called cheating anyway. I thought I could smartly turn things round & show him that he's not the only one capable of doing shit, but it happened to have backfired on me, & now I feel so crappy I might as well commit suicide.

I can't rmbr what I wanted to say. I feel terrible, about everything. It's not fair. Why me? Please, why me?! I'm begging, please, please, someone stop this tortured feeling in me. If this is what love is supposed to be, I might as well stab a knife through me after this.

I feel like crying. I want to cry. I want to scream out loud & ask God why. I can't stand it any longer. Patient as I am, I still have a limit. I don't want to live anymore.

.Farah Alia.
Growing up, lost in her ups & downs, desperately trying to find the real meaning of life. With only 18 yrs of experience in life, its a journey. With memories that can nvr be forgotten.

Family. <33
The best family ever. To mummy & papa; Bringing me into this world, raising me up & protecting me, you're the only ones that I know who would never abandon me. You taught me the importance of loving a family, to take care of others, to value life & live as a good person. Even if once I didn't understand why & thought tht you were a nuisance to me, as I grow older I started to know why, & try my best to appreciate it. Of course, growing up, as Mummy puts it, I nvr know how high the sky is or how deep the ground is, in other words, I don't know my limits, but one thing's fer sure, I'll nvr forget how important family really is. Words of wisdom, I live to the fullest each day. I love you all.








Friends. <33
All sorts. Close, best, good, or just friends. All around, to laugh with, to share with, to be together with. Besties like Nad, supportive when they can be, there to cheer you up when you're down, we need people like that in our lives. I'm grateful to have friends like y'all, to share the fun I experience with. To just talk, or chill, or hangout. A part of your life that is always a must fer everyone. I love y'all. (:

Afeeqah
Ariel
Arif
Art
Beatrice
Bell
Bhairavi
Bie
Chad
Farina
Fiki
Gordon
Grace
Hafiz
Heera
JessicaLoi
Jian
MeiXin
Mell Joy Hilman
Mya
Nadirah
Natasha
Neyra
Nurul
Liyana
Liyana Sharia
Pauline
Putera
Ramadhan
Shefy
SuetLee
Syamim
Syaz
Syukri
WanYing
Wunny
Yana