.Thursday, July 16, 2009 @ 6:23 PM Y
.silence.
Currently tuning into: Taylor Swift - Breathe
'Cause none of us thought it was gonna end that way,
People are people and sometimes we change our minds,
But it's killing me to see you go after all this time.
Music starts playin' like the end of a sad movie,
It's the kinda ending you don't really wanna see,
'Cause it's tragedy and it'll only bring you down,
Now I don't know what to be without you around.
And we know it's never simple, never easy,
Never a clean break, no one here to save me,
You're the only thing I know like the back of my hand.
And I can't breathe
Without you, but I have to
Breathe
Without you, but I have to
It's two a.m., feelin' like I just lost a friend
Hope you know it's not easy, easy for me.
Had accs lecture just now. Was so god damn bored by the new lecturer's voice, started to drift off into space. Got lost in my lonely thoughts, eventually leading me to remember the 2nd November 2008. We had so much fun then, fer our first date, didn't we? With Mawi & Nad, it was definitely one night to remember, fer the fact that it was the very first official date I had in my life with a boyfriend. The first time I really got to meet you in person, apart from tht short meeting in front of my house.
I remember how anxious I was that whole week. I was so nervous, being scared that things would get screwed up. If they did, I would have gotten it, big time. Mummy assumed I was going to some school function, when I was actually going on my first date with my boyf of less than a month. Haha. You should know just how relieved I was when I arrived at Nad's hse, supposingly to 'get ready to go to tht school function with her'. I was so nervous, I kept on begging Nad to follow, eventually succeeding, after a talk with her parents. When you arrived in front of her house, only heaven knows how nervous I really, really was. Funny though, thinking of that time Mawi shifted to the back, just so that I could sit next to you. Haha.
I rmbr our journey in the car on the way to Sunway. Everyone was quiet, & you suddenly broke the silence, asking why everyone was quiet, while giving me a side glance, & telling me tht you wouldn't be expecting me to talk anyway, since I'm always quiet, especially on the phone. Lol. The parking was full, so we had to park on the rooftop. Pfft. Dahlah hujan lbat gle. You dropped Nad & Mawi & I at the entrance, while you went circling around, searching fer a parking spot. You told me you got pissed at Mawi, fer not staying with you in the car, while you had to run under the rain all alone. Wtf. Haha.
We walked around Sunway, with no idea on where to go. I rmbr how you kept on bumping into me deliberately while we were talking, causing me to silently giggle. Hahaha. Eventually we stopped by to watch people skating, until you suggested that we go separate ways, you & I, & Nad with Mawi. After that, we went to the Digital Center. You wanted to check out the price of that Sony Vaio that you wanted so much. As we walked there you said, "Haaa, skrg br ley," & grabbed my hand, surprising me, though secretly, I had been awaiting that moment really. HOHO. I remember how we walked all around Sunway, holding hands, not knowing where to go. But I didn't care less, all I knew was, I was right there with you, & nothing else really mattered.
Went to meet up with Nad & Mawi at the game arcade. I rmbr there was no place fer me to sit, so you told me to lean against you. Having you hugging me as I laughed at you & Mawi playing games, I wondered, how could something so random turn out to be the best thing to ever happen in my life? I couldn't stop smiling all night, even at the beginning of the night I had already known that it would be the best night ever.
After playing games we all went to have dinner at KFC. I was trying to eat as slow & as ladylike than ever in front of you, despite the fact tht I was already a slow eater anyway. Malu2 kucing la sgt kan. Ahaha. Mawi kept on teasing us, getting you to feed me, talking about kissing & stuff. I could practically feeling myself getting all hot from blushing, I had no idea how I should have reacted. Sheesh. After tht we all went to lepak outside, since you wanted to smoke. Started fooling around, all of us, singing songs & stuff. I didn't sing much, was still quite shy in singing in front of you, especially after tht episode where you forced me to sing Never Be Replaced over the phone, smartly recording my suara sumbang without telling me. Adoii.
The journey back home was fun really, everyone was joking around & laughing, & your car was like a club, with the music blasted up loud. I know Nad was fer sure very excited, especially since you were driving so fast & well, who didn't love the loud music. Tsk3. We arrived at my place early, so hung around in your car; after all, I was supposed to 'be at a dinner' that would supposingly end at 12-ish, & it was only 10-ish. Swtz. Mawi went roaming outside alone, giving us some privacy.
We both were so quiet & shy, thinking about it right now makes me wanna laugh out loud. Hahah. I rmbr when you held my hand again, & since then I didn't want to let go at all, leaning on your arm, while you playfully asked if I was ever gonna let go. I told you tht I didn't want to, you made such a nice pillow. Haha. I remember how you touched my face. I tingled from how cold your hand was; you were quite sensitive to the aircon. You sat there touching my face, while silently in my head, I was wondering when you were gonna kiss me already. HAHA. Cam bangang je aku ni. I'll never forget our 1st kiss, tht 1st kiss on my forehead was enough to make me faint, but our 1st kiss was the very kiss that would make me remember that night right until the day I die. Hugging you tightly, I knew I just wanted to stay there & hug you forever. Being with you, I knew that you were the only guy that I wanted to touch me, to be with me, & that you were definitely one guy that I was bound to love the most.
It was getting late, you told me I had to go back, before mummy got mad. But I refused to, & you supposingly scolded me, though I knew you still wanted me around really. Ngahahaha. At least we took photos before that, after being all camera shy la sgt kan. Ahaha. Eventually it was midnight, I knew I had to leave, though I didn't want to at all. Cam cite Cinderella dah lak kan. HAHA.
Despite hating everything tht happened, though I fully understand right now our situation, I'd have to admit, I miss you very, very much.
