.Friday, July 24, 2009 @ 9:56 PM Y
.silence.
Currently tuning into: Escape The Fate - Situations
Honestly, that never happened,
lying is your favorite passion,
Leave me, go where you belong,
Higher heels and lipstick napkins,
dying is your latest fashion.
Sooo. Fer this week huh?
Wednesday, 22nd July 2009.
Skipped classes & actually drove to Bangi to fetch syg. Xgle lak aku kan. HAHA. Had to send him back to Keramat to see the doctor; he came up with a terrible cough. So, after fetching him & his friend from KUIS went back to his hse in Keramat where he dropped me off & went to the clinic. Was very the tired, so dozed off fer awhile, & woke up to supposingly study Accs, well, only to end up sitting in the kitchen chitchatting with Umi & watching her cook. Hoho. After that sat down with her & had lunch. Yummm. Lol.
As it was 12 Amin's umi & I started panicking, it was getting late, I had to get to UTAR fer my test at 4.30, takot xsempat je, since I had to drop Amin back at Bangi. The 2 of us got so panicked tht we called Amin nonstop, who didn't answer, smartly leaving his phone in the car. He got back at 1, & had lunch. Over lunch Amin asked his umi if anyone else was getting married this yr & she said no, then he looked at me & asked when it was our turn. Basically tht is a normal question coming frm him, but it was scary when in front of umi. HAHA. All she did was smile knowingly, which made me feel like throwing pieces of chicken at Amin. Lol.
In the afternoon drove back to UTAR for my accs class, then went all the way back to Bangi. Drove back home in within an hr. Even Amin was kinda surprised at how fast arrived. Well, fer someone who drove 120km/h, what do you expect really. T__T
Fell in love with the comfy UTAR shirt. HOHO.
Thursday, 23nd July 2009.
Normal day really. Had accs lecture, & had to do a lot of questions. By the end of the two-hour lecture, everyone had basically done 3-4 questions, while Jo-lyn & I successfully solved ONE question. Bangge doh. HAHAHA. We suck at accs, & not afraid to admit it. Lmao.
Oh. Before that had Comp Studies tutorial. Sat next to Nick & had a fun time laughing at the most random things. Had this substitude tutor, who, well, nak kate English bgos mmg bgos, tp cam t'lalu try nak ckp cam mat salleh. Haha wtff. The way she pronounced certain people's names was hilarious, & basically we all had a fun time laughing.
Then at night Amin called & asked me if I wanted to go MOS. I was like, wtf, since when did this boyf of mine even let me go clubbing? Damn weird. N'way, at almost 9 drove to MOS & met up with him & his friends there. I wore this tube top & jacket, & when Amin saw me he was like, "Why are you wearing a jacket?" Wtfff. Apparently you can't wear a freaking jacket into clubs, one of the most ridiculous rules I've ever heard.
Went to lpak at some kdai mamak, while waiting fer 12am. Faced some problems in entering MOS, since I, fer one was under 18(they count the freaking mths wey!) & the other guys including Amin was under 21. Bottom line, by the end of the night, Amin's friends dumped him & me & somehow got inside while we both were so tired & bored we both went back home to sleep. Thus, my clubbing virginity is still intact HAHA.
After having this huge fight. Drama siot. T____T
Took his phone for the fun of it & browsed through his inbox. Found stuff which, well, was obviously what I knew was in store for me yet things I didn't want to see. It doesn't help seeing some other girl's name with a heart beside it, sending "Luv u honey" to my fucking boyf, in a way. Pe lg, mengamuk kot. I practically threw his phone on the table & shouted at him, before demanding to have my car keys back so that I could go home. It was enough for me to bear really, I may be "my fav" in his phone, but I'm sure that every other girlf would want to be the only main girl in their guy's life.
Then came this scene tht, well, in my opinion was something tht only those typical rempits near my house do with their girlfs during a fight wtf. He refused to give me my car keys, instead he went to my car & asked me to follow him. Then hell broke loose in the car, as a screaming match occured. Hohoho. After what felt like endless moments of shouting I decided to keep my mouth shut; I was nvr known fer arguing much, too many things were running through my mind tht it was almost impossible to shout everything aloud at him. I knew I'd never win anyway, despite knowing very much that a lot of what his said was basically crap tht any liars or idiots could come up with. Tp xpe, we'll see how far things can go, shouldn't we? Trying hard to change huh? I know how effort looks like when it passes me, so yea, xpe2, Farah Alia sabar je.
But of course, aku sumpah yg pompuan2 yg mengatal ngan balak aku xkan bahagia selagi dorg hidop. Pndi2 la cari blak sendiri, nak kaco org lain nye watpe? Korg jage2 la eh, if his words are true, I'll fucking curse y'all fer eternity, so don't expect true happiness you friggin bitches. I'll fucking curse y'all to be living hell fer the years to come. Sumpah hidop korg xkan aman. Kejam eh? Hah, no one knows just how close to evil I can really be.
Weird really, I don't even know what I should declare myself as. We've supposingly broken up, yet tht would be the last thing you'll actually assume when you see us together. & he still declares me as his girlf to his friends, which, in a way, would make sense, since basically if I wasn't his girlf I most probably wouldn't even be there. WTF. Pning sudaa. But wtvr it is, let's just see what else is in store fer me. Life's taken a whole twist & turn currently, & it kinda excites & frightens me to wonder what else is in store. One thing's fer sure though, this so-called breakup did have a few positive effects on me. Fer one, I think lesser of everything than usual. & I've emotionally detached myself from him. & life feels less of a burden, without thinking of all the other things out there.
I just want to be as happy like I was being with him last night. I'm sick of blaming everyone & feeling so fucked up & sick. I just want to be happy, that's not too much to ask isn't it?
