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.Tuesday, July 07, 2009 @ 1:45 AM Y

Currently tuning into: Emma Bunton - What Took You So Long

Whats the 10th text in your inbox say?
"syg2, u tau x. ari ni kan, ari plg malang, bosan, bodoh, sunyi.nak tau x nper?jap ek, nak sambung main dota jap.huhu..ok.sambung blik..1.npe ari ni ari pling malang skali=sbb xdpt msg n dgr suare bini i..2.npe ari ni ari pling bosan=sbb xdpt msg n dgr suare bini i.3.npe ari ni ari pling bodoh=sbb xdpt msg n dgr suare bini i..huhu..sumpah rindu u gle2 syg..muahx."

may sound familiar to someone. & i want tht very person back.

Was doing a random survey in myspace just now. Coincidently while I checked my inbox this was the 10th msg, given by him on the 23rd Feb.

I seriously miss this guy, this boyf of mine, that was there for me every single minute of the day, that would check on me every few hours of the day, whose text msg would be the very one to wake me up & also whose very voice or text msg would put me to sleep. I miss this boyf of mine that would call or text me at the most random times, just to ask me what I was doing, or that he's about to go somewhere, or the one to wish me good night & sweet dreams, the very reason I go to sleep smiling at night. I miss this very boyf of mine that I could always complain to, where he would always scold me in a mock way, & always cheer me up & make me laugh, no matter what.

I miss the times where I would actually go through his phone & find nothing tht would make me suspicious, instead, I find everything about only me. Especially tht time during our first date where Nad found a picture collage of me in his phone that he had nvr told me about; how darn sweet. All these little little things that made me feel genuinely loved, that assured me that I was really loved & that there wasn't a worry in the world at all fer me. The early stages are always the best ones aren't they. Our first date, even thinking about every single detail can still make me laugh, however, also with the certain urge to cry.

I barely know the person that I'm dating anymore. He's changed in so many ways, I doubt he even realizes so. Even crying angrily, shouting into my pillows, throwing everything around my room & mildly cutting myself won't change that fact. I feel so alone, yet I can't do anything about it. There are all sorts of people around me everyday, friends, family, strangers, yet, the world seems so silent around me, as if I've gone deaf. Laughter is only temporary. So near yet so far.

I'm trying to be independent. Even if he's around, to me, he's gone. I have no tears left to cry, guess I'm slowly accepting the situation I'm in. However, I still want back my old sayang, the one I could feel 500% comfortable & loved with.


.Farah Alia.
Growing up, lost in her ups & downs, desperately trying to find the real meaning of life. With only 18 yrs of experience in life, its a journey. With memories that can nvr be forgotten.


Family. <33
The best family ever. To mummy & papa; Bringing me into this world, raising me up & protecting me, you're the only ones that I know who would never abandon me. You taught me the importance of loving a family, to take care of others, to value life & live as a good person. Even if once I didn't understand why & thought tht you were a nuisance to me, as I grow older I started to know why, & try my best to appreciate it. Of course, growing up, as Mummy puts it, I nvr know how high the sky is or how deep the ground is, in other words, I don't know my limits, but one thing's fer sure, I'll nvr forget how important family really is. Words of wisdom, I live to the fullest each day. I love you all.

Friends. <33
All sorts. Close, best, good, or just friends. All around, to laugh with, to share with, to be together with. Besties like Nad, supportive when they can be, there to cheer you up when you're down, we need people like that in our lives. I'm grateful to have friends like y'all, to share the fun I experience with. To just talk, or chill, or hangout. A part of your life that is always a must fer everyone. I love y'all. (:


Mell Joy Hilman
Liyana Sharia


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