.Monday, June 22, 2009 @ 6:31 PM Y
.silence.
Currently tuning into: Hey Monday - How You Love Me NowHaven't blogged in a week. Record kot. Haha wtf. N'way, yea, I've been quite lazy to update really. Fer one, last week I was practically sick throughout the whole week, having fever, cough & flu. Xtau la psl cuace ke psl syg dok campak aku dlm laut aritu kan HAHA. Pfft.
N'way, did my public speaking presentation just now. Gosh, I don't even know why the hell I even bothered to memorize, I forgot every single word, & I didn't dare read from my paper HAHAHA lol. Well, somehow crapped, so uh, lantak ar. Changed my topic btw, talked about blogging. Haha.
Oh. May be transferring to tht Baitumal place, depending on how my results will be fer my finals of course. Pfft. Good luck to me being all alim wey. & having to learn Bahasa Arab. Sheesh.
Haven't been in the mood to blog lately. In fact, haven't been in the mood in anything at all. & I've been gaining so much weight it's currently depressing. Shitty really, ever since syg entered college.
Been getting really touchy, he replies my msgs late, & tht's like only a few times, calls me like what, once or twice a day? & he doesn't even classes on yet wey! Xbengang aku. & last Saturday was my 8th month anniversary with syg, & mind you, it sucked hard friggin core. He supposingly was in some bad mood & couldn't even layan me, causing me to turn bitchy too, resulting in both of us not talking the whole day. X bengang lak aku, rase cam kimak jer. Then yesterday he turns up at my hse to take his cap & the wallet I bought for him, & leaves, like 10 minutes later. Yea, so he came, & of course we couldn't get all huggy & kissy in front of my parents, but seriously, would it even kill him to at least hang around for a bit? Pfft.
Gah. Idk really, so many things run through my mind. Every moment he's not texting me or sumthing I get the odd impression tht he's texting some other girl. At night I get the sudden phobia that he's on the phone with some other girl. Nice as it seems whenever he always says he loves me & stuff, I can't help but feel a little scared; can't blame me really, the last time he did that, suddenly say 'I love you' to me every single time he called me, he happened to have another girlf. Pfft. Urgh, doesn't anyone know how much it freaking sucks to feel insecure every single darn time?! I hate it, I swear to God I do. But yet, losing him is 1000000x worse. Gah.
Adoiyai, Casper oii, tolong la syg, sumpah I dah xsanggup ouh nak rase camni tiap2ari. Tolong la wat something yg at least ley tenangkan ati I, ckp la ngan I yg u sumpah u xkan wat pape blkg I lg. Or sumthing like tht, pape jela. Psl u wat satu bende tu je dlu, I dah jd camni. Urgh. I tau u syg I semue, but pls la, I mintak satu je wey, jgn wat pape lg kat blkg I. Tiap2 ari I rase cuak, tau x. Taula u dah x wat pape hal pun skrg, tp, ntah la. Grr. Cam siot je kan bini u ni? Haha. I syg you sgt2 lorr. ):You know, I've changed so darn much it's getting kinda stupid really. Recently I've been adding like tons of 'super cute' guys in Myspace, just so that I can supposingly flirt & stuff like that, so that
just in case anything goes wrong with the boyf & I, I'll have some penganti or some sort wtf. Call me a bitch really. But you wanna know the stupidity of the whole thing?
I can't freaking get myself to do it. I even attempted getting this guy to become my scandal but chickened out halfway. Pfft. The old Farah last time could even go as far as liking 10 guys in one shot, I'm sure Mei Xin & Wan Ying would rmbr tht too.
Funny how this dumb thing called love makes people turn cuckoo.
As quoted from the movie 27 Dresses;
Love is patient, love is kind, love means slowly losing your mind.
