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.Friday, May 15, 2009 @ 5:44 PM Y

Currently tuning into: Rihanna - Hatin' On The Club

Just now at gym went fer cycling class. God, after months of not going, it felt like hell. The burning in my thighs was more than enough to bear. Felt like screaming my lungs out yet no sound came out. & Bryan just had to do jumps & tht stupid Ting Ting song today, knowing tht I haven't been cycling for like what, half a yr? Pfft.

& you should seriously salute those on The Biggest Loser; they must have enormous will to actually exercise like that. & I go to gym almost 5 times a week & can't even stand half an hour in a spinning class. Wtff. N'way, despite all tht, hard work paid off. I've already lost 7kg within 2 weeks! OK, mainly that was b'cuz I didn't eat fer the past few days b'cuz I was still so sakit ati but n'way.

Don't tell me tht's unhealthy, I do exercise so I consider tht healthy enough eventhough I try my best to not eat at all nowadays. & even if one day I'd drop down & faint or summat I'll still consider that good since I've already lost some weight with it. Call my crazy, but I'm aiming to drop at least another 8-9kg before Abg Boy & Kak Norlie's wedding. That is, if nothing happens between me & Amin before the wedding day. Sheesh.

Yea, me & Amin. I've decided to cut the crap of confronting him & starting a fight that I always lose to. I'm sick of fighting all the time, cuz basically him being the person he is, wouldn't give a fuck, & I'll be the one in the end being sober & fucked-up. So yea, shutting my mouth up is better I guess.

I've currently learnt to not give a fuck about what he wants to do, cuz the more I bitch about it the more I myself seem to be jeopardizing our already ruined relationship. I'm already too tired of thinking he's with some other girl, or doing things tht I don't like, stuff like tht. I'm tired of waiting for his text msgs or calls tht will nvr come n'way. So yea, I don't give a fuck right now, it's up to him on whether he wants to even contact me, or doesn't want to, or anything la, janji bahagia hidup die.

So. Yea. Now all I'm concentrating on is losing tht xtra 8-9kgs by end of this month, even if I had to die to do it I'll make sure it happens, & nothing else. I wanna start a new life as a new person once I step into college. Oh, don't ever ask what my current weight is, boyf or bestie or whoever; I'll fucking shoot you. =.=

Which reminds me. Later I wanna go fer a jog. I consumed so many calories just now I might as well commit suicide. Join me? Haha. ;P


.Farah Alia.
Growing up, lost in her ups & downs, desperately trying to find the real meaning of life. With only 18 yrs of experience in life, its a journey. With memories that can nvr be forgotten.


Family. <33
The best family ever. To mummy & papa; Bringing me into this world, raising me up & protecting me, you're the only ones that I know who would never abandon me. You taught me the importance of loving a family, to take care of others, to value life & live as a good person. Even if once I didn't understand why & thought tht you were a nuisance to me, as I grow older I started to know why, & try my best to appreciate it. Of course, growing up, as Mummy puts it, I nvr know how high the sky is or how deep the ground is, in other words, I don't know my limits, but one thing's fer sure, I'll nvr forget how important family really is. Words of wisdom, I live to the fullest each day. I love you all.

Friends. <33
All sorts. Close, best, good, or just friends. All around, to laugh with, to share with, to be together with. Besties like Nad, supportive when they can be, there to cheer you up when you're down, we need people like that in our lives. I'm grateful to have friends like y'all, to share the fun I experience with. To just talk, or chill, or hangout. A part of your life that is always a must fer everyone. I love y'all. (:


Mell Joy Hilman
Liyana Sharia


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