.Wednesday, May 20, 2009 @ 11:18 PM Y
.silence.
Currently tuning into: Kat Deluna Ft Lil Wayne - UnstoppableSo. Amin sygs & Yon just went home. Yes, Yon as in my ex scandal. This was the first time meeting him. Pfft.
N'way, was expecting syg to come, we were supposed to go out to get my baju kurung. But I didn't even know tht he arrived, until mummy called me to come down, Amin was here with a friend. So there syg walked in, grinning cheekily while I asked him why he didn't call or text. You could only imagine how surprised I was to see his friend walk in. Despite never meeting Yon I could rmbr his face from his pics as well as ever. Was slightly shocked, never in a million years did I ever expect syg to bring Yon to my hse, not after knowing what had happened between us. But hey, what do you know, he's actually quite a nice guy, I really had fun hanging with him.
Mummy asked me whether I knew this friend of Amin's & I admitted that last year I had had a crush on Yon. It's a good thing I didn't tell her that these were the two idiots involved in tht so-called accident last yr tht had made me cry so badly. Xkene lak dorg nnt kan. Sheesh. Which reminds me, I actually surprised my own self when I confessed to my mother that I had had a crush on some guy HAHA. Never done tht wey! Shows how close I've gotten to my mum recently.
So, went to Masjid India to look for my baju kurung. Was really hard to find, tht silver baju kurung of mine, but somehow ended with one, a silver-gray coloured baju kurung with red flowers, credits to syg who chose it. Rm 35 only wey! Okay, not so good quality kain wtf, but still very, very cheap. Mum got heart attack seeing it, & scolded Amin; said I was 18, not 81(apparently it looked too old fashioned fer me HAHA). But n'way, since Amin said it was ok, tembak je la. Lol.
After that went to Petronas near my house to have dinner at Kfc. Then came home & lepaked at my house, listening to mummy rant on & on about dirty politics while I did a mini facial for Amin & Yon pretended to listen & watch tv, when really he was on the way to falling asleep. Ahaha. Oh, syg just told me he arrived at Keramat. & he left my house like what, less than half an hour ago? Mengalahkan rempit kot. & I told him to bwk moto slowly & asked Yon to watch him. Wtfff.
Oh, refrained myself from checking his phone throughout the whole day. Much as I may have forgiven him for the past things he did, I definitely did not forget, & I obviously still don't trust him. Maybe I'm starting to trust him a little again now, but there's still a long way to go. Didn't see the point of checking his phone; cause if I found anything I would the one in the end feeling fucked-up, & this time I definitely wouldn't have kept quiet, I would have started screaming at him on the spot, & once tht happens, I can assure you that it would not be a pretty sight.
He's grown up enough, he should know what is right & what is wrong, I'm sure that myspace blogpost of mine has said enough, both for him & for me. He should know by now on how to make the right choices. Klu nak sgt curang lg, jgn menyesal nnt. If he really meant every word he said in tht text msg last night, he better watch his steps, cuz at this point I'm already at, if he puts another toe out of line after this, I won't hesitate to leave, no matter how painful it will be.
I just realised that this was the very first time ever where we spent our anniversary together, even if it was just a random outing. In these 7 months we've nvr actually met on an anniversary day. Haha.
Meanwhile, the bestie Nad gets bitchy whenever I talk about my boyf. Apparently she still thinks I'm stupid to continue on after all this. Seriously, she should understand, to never judge a situation cuz basically, you'll nvr know how it's really like unless you put yourself in tht person's shoes. So, aku xkisah. Lantak ar ko nak fkir aku ni bodo camne pun kan, hidup aku nye sendiri, xde sape2 ley control, selain aku, xde sape ley mengubah hidup aku, melainkan aku nak mengubahkannye sendiri. Klu t'luke aku tanggung la sendiri, pengalaman sendiri kan. But as my bestie I seriously hoped you could at least be my shoulder to cry on. Pape je la. I'm already used to being all by myself when I'm sad & down.
See why I don't give a fuck anymore? B'cuz the more I think the more my own head feels like cracking, not anyone else's. Tht's why the best way is to not bother at all.
(:
