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.Sunday, March 08, 2009 @ 8:46 PM Y

Currently tuning into: Lady GaGa - Pokerface

Hey. I'm Frh Alia. & I'm currently feeling slightly hurt b'cuz my boyf said I have another guy. Eventhough he was just joking I feel very sensitive cuz I love him so so much & I would never ever want another guy, no matter how perfect or better tht other guy may be. My boyf is just perfect the way he is & I only want him, no matter what happens. He is the only one tht I want to spend the rest of my life with, full stop.

I banned him from going clubbing not b'cuz he wouldn't let me go, but everytime he goes clubbing I can't help but worry a few notches too high. I don't want him to do anything bad like taking drugs & stuff, though I'm sure he'll nvr do so. I don't want those bitches to have their hands all over him; he's only mine. Bad images form in my mind like him kissing another girl or maybe even worse & I just feel like shattering. Not tht I don't trust him, but I know perfectly well how a guys nature is to say this. I also don't want any other girl to get the same treatment from him as I; they so don't deserve it. In this case I don't mind being selfish or bitchy, I love him & nvr want to lose him, tht's wht matters the most.

I get very upset when I don't hear from him at night, eventhough I know well tht he ran out of credit or summat. I just get so insecure & suddenly feel tht he's not there fer me anymore. I have difficulties going to sleep at night cuz there's so much on my mind. Whenever he's in a bad mood & talks to me as if he doesn't want to speak I get so scared & wonder if I did anything wrong, when basically I know fully well tht it has nothing to do with me. I don't ever want to lose him, yet I have to accept the fact tht nothing good lasts forever. I don't ever want him to leave me, yet I know there are so many girls out there tht are so much better than me. Though he'll always remind me tht I'm perfect just the way I am to him, I can't help but feel worried every second of the day. I hate myself so much right now fer feeling so insecure & sensitive. I hate myself fer not trusting him completely, yet I feel if I trust him too much I'll end up hurting myself more than ever in future. Gah why the hell am I cursed to be such a sensitive & insecure bitch?

I'm seriously feeling sick now.
Sore eyes & lips are definitely not the way to go.
Especially not with this soreness forming in my throat. Pfft.


.Farah Alia.
Growing up, lost in her ups & downs, desperately trying to find the real meaning of life. With only 18 yrs of experience in life, its a journey. With memories that can nvr be forgotten.


Family. <33
The best family ever. To mummy & papa; Bringing me into this world, raising me up & protecting me, you're the only ones that I know who would never abandon me. You taught me the importance of loving a family, to take care of others, to value life & live as a good person. Even if once I didn't understand why & thought tht you were a nuisance to me, as I grow older I started to know why, & try my best to appreciate it. Of course, growing up, as Mummy puts it, I nvr know how high the sky is or how deep the ground is, in other words, I don't know my limits, but one thing's fer sure, I'll nvr forget how important family really is. Words of wisdom, I live to the fullest each day. I love you all.

Friends. <33
All sorts. Close, best, good, or just friends. All around, to laugh with, to share with, to be together with. Besties like Nad, supportive when they can be, there to cheer you up when you're down, we need people like that in our lives. I'm grateful to have friends like y'all, to share the fun I experience with. To just talk, or chill, or hangout. A part of your life that is always a must fer everyone. I love y'all. (:


Mell Joy Hilman
Liyana Sharia


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